


Photography || Josh Dun x Reader

by iiBlurryPaige



Category: Tyler Joseph - Fandom, josh dun - Fandom
Genre: Book - Freeform, F/M, Photography, Twenty One Pilots Reference
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiBlurryPaige/pseuds/iiBlurryPaige
Summary: Y/n was a small town barista , working for minimum wage at a cafe . But Y/n wasn't noticed for making coffee but taking photos. Y/n was known for amazing photography whether it went from newborn baby shoots , wedding shoots , to family shoots .How ever she manages to land a big job , being the photographer for twenty one pilots meant she would have to leave home to travel around the world , falling for a drummer along the way ?





	1. Rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //This first chapter doesn't have Josh in here but a lot of Ty x Jenna , So live with it sorry ,probably next chapter Jish will be in it. \\\
> 
> //And I guess I tried to recreate how Jenna and Tyler met , but I don't know much about it . So please don't be rude , or harsh . I'm a little insecure about it ... Thanks for reading..

Chapter.1|| Rain

Wordcount: 2700

Warnings: Maybe cursing? I dunno depends on my mood

 

what am I doing with my life __

Sitting quietly I stared out the window of the music store , I hum lightly before looking back over at the collection of Cd's and records . Humming along to the song that been blasting to the speakers , it seemed familiar , patting my leg to the beat quietly I looked over the all the Cd's, I stopped as I stared down at the CD with a series of circles on it , I stared at it."Blurryface ?" I whisper aloud. I jumped at the sound of the bell on the door, I turn to a flash of red seemed to blind me, looking down , I wanted to see the features of this beautiful man , but there was nothing , I stared face to face with a blur.

 

I jump awake , leaning up quickly I gasp for air .Panting harshly I glance around my room , eyes landing on my window, a light shade of blue shined through giving my room a winter's morning aesthetic. I sigh , taking deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth, glancing around my room I quickly made sure no human , or inhuman thing was in sight . continuing my rigid deep breaths , I look over at my phone before picking it up I stared at the time , Groaning I leaned up in bed lazily scrolling through twitter . It was 3:30 am for Christ sake , what is up with these nightmares .

Why did this happen to me ? I couldn't talk about my nightmares to anyone ,I used to tell my best friend Codi . But he left me for dead once he got a new girlfriend . ( Seeing as I wouldn't let him into my pants.) He thought I was crazy , insane. He wasn't even the only one , my dad thought I was delusional , my mom thought I was just 'sick' from the anxiety pills I was taking.

Nobody knew that I wasn't crazy , delusional , or sick , These were actual dreams and I couldn't get rid of them . There was no way out , I was trapped inside my own mind , and I was slowly killing myself .I jumped from my thinking position as I looked down at my phone 5:30 am , Time for work .

 

Leaning up in my bed I got up , running a hand through my hair , biting down on my lip , I strolled over to the bathroom . Sliding into my ( DM's ) my work uniform before turning to the mirror with a sigh . Pulling my hair back I put it up , staring at my face in the reflection , I stood emotionless , before muttering a sigh as I began to put on a light layer of make up . Once I was done , i looked back in the mirror , still emotionless , before putting a fake smile on my face. Good enough . After all , There is no distraction to mask what is real.

I huff another sigh before leaving the bathroom , heading out of my small room , picking up my husky puppy , Harley letting her lick my face . Letting out a slight giggle i set her back on the floor , feeding her breakfast shortly after , glancing over at my kitchen I simply shook my head.I'll just eat something at the Cafe ,any silverware I had had been dirty , along with every other dish I had . Patting Harley on the head I turned toward the door I grabbed my keys , Locking the door and heading out to my car.

I sat quietly ( NOT IN SILENCE READER-CHAN NOO!)in my car , looking over at my radio . (WHICH NOBODY STOLE.) I turn it on , letting a random channel begin to play , switching to a different channel this one was full of static , Music barely being heard below it.' I've been thinking too much , Help me..' I furrow my brow slightly as I tried to listen closer , but the song went up in static." Weird... I usually get this channel.." I change the channel once again , ' music ' had begun to play , Obnoxious music , This wasn't really music...

' My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns , Hun!' Quickly turning off my radio I continued to cringe . Once I arrived at my work , I groaned as it began pouring down rain . Looking around my car for my hoodie , biting down on my lip I found it nowhere in sight.Huffing , I turned my body toward the door of my car , getting ready to spring out. Planning out a plan in my head , my work had been a block away from here, cause god knows parking in this city. ( If you've ever been to Portland Oregon you know the struggle.) Quickly jumping out of , My car I quickly locking it and took off running down the street , realistically speaking : I'm pretty fast , but not fast enough to not get soaking wet.

I walked into the entrance of my work , shivering I looked up to be greeted by red cheeks , blonde hair and blue eyes , This was my best friend Jenna Black . She was stunning , it was unfair , call me selfish but I'm just telling the truth. She doesn't know about my nightmares either.. I don't want to lose her either,

( Quick comment : This was before Jenna and Tyler met , and I'm pretty sure Jenna never worked in a cafe , but since I'm pretty new to the Fandom oh well , Come on guys, It's FAN FICTION )

" Y/n, Your soaked!" She exclaimed speeding over to me , pressing a small towel to my face to clean up the slightly smeared make up and water." I think I noticed." I joked and looked up at her , I could feel my hair sticking to my scalp , and adding a slight waviness .

Pushing into the back I tore off my soaking wet over shirt , luckily my undershirt only being damp , pulling my work shirt over my head , along with my apron , I tied it behind my back before I redid my hair . Looking at myself in the reflection of my phone , most of my makeup had already came off , and what was still on my face had been smeared and messed up. Groaning i turned on my heel I cruised into the bathroom to wash off the rest of my make up .

Once I was 'pleased' with my appearance I headed out off the back and up behind the counter, Where Jenna had been cleaning the counters . Glancing back at me before she doubled back .

"Well that's different." She stared at my face for a second before turning back to the counters." Do I look okay ?" I asked being slightly insecure about my bare face ." You look beautiful Y/n" she smiled and walked up to me , hugging me tightly ." Don't you have any extra make up in your purse?" I practically beg her ."I'm sorry Y/n , I left it at home . I wouldn't lend it to you anyway , you look beautiful !" She smiled and tucked a loose hair behind my ear.

"Sure I do " I rolled my eyes before turning on my heel , heading over to the door I flipped the sign from closed to open , walking behind the counter I began to start up the coffee machine and get everything started.

-Time skip sponsored by the many times I've cried over Truce -

Feeling my heart beat raise as I paced around behind the counter , finishing orders and taking orders , walked back over to the register to receive another order.Stopping abruptly in front of the counter I looked up at my new customer , panting lightly i smiled."H-hey what can I get you today?"

He looked over at me and gave off a slight grin . He had short brown hair , brown eyes , his skin was slightly tan , not dark but not to light , as a black hoodie hung over his shoulders. ( REMEMBER THIS IS A JISH FANFIC NOT A TYJO FIC)He opened his lips to say something ,then paused ,closing his mouth before opening it again.

" Do you need air , cause I can wait." He chuckled . I smiled and shrugged." Oh I'm fine , Lunch break is in five minutes." I paused. " Anyways what can I get you?"I asked and looked up to him with a small smile." Oh, right , Um. Do you happen to have red bull here?" He asked , quiet serious ."Oh , Uh , hold on a sec." I turned around and looked over at Jenna . "Do we have red bull here?" she stood up straight and gave off her ' are you kidding me 'face . I shrugged and motioned behind me . She walked over to the counter and raised an eyebrow at the dude.

"You wanted red bull, yeah?" The guy looked up from his phone realizing someone new was talking to him and turned red as soon as he met eyes with her." Uh yeah , j-just wondering . " He stuttered." You are aware this is a coffee shop , not a gas station or a Walmart? No we don't have red bull." Jenna stated clearly unimpressed , I pressed my hand on her shoulder to try and persuade her to calm down."Alright , s-sorry , I'll just have a black coffee , thanks . " She nodded before typing something into cash register, She gave him a forced small smile and handed him his receipt soon after he paid .

Jenna turned and smiled at me before she was off to go make his coffee,I motioned him over to me ."Sorry about her." I gave slight smile."No that's alright , Just tell her I'm sorry, I guess." he gave off a sad smile ."How about this " I paused . " You stay here for the next fifteen minutes and I'll get her to lunch with you." I smirked at him."Are you serious?" He asked slightly surprised.

" Yes! Sh." I looked over my shoulder to see Jenna heading back over to us."Here you go!" She seemed to have calmed down a little , but still gave off a somewhat unimpressed aurora."Thanks! " He smiled and looked between me and Jenna before heading over to a table."He was a nice guy." I smile , but Jenna shrugged."I guess. " She looked down at her hands .

"Jenna , just because he wanted Red Bull from a cafe doesn't mean he's a bad guy!"I explain,trying to get her to give him a small chance."Yeah , I get he's not a bad guy." She huffed, washing off the counter."Take my break then , Go have Lunch with him." I smile. and lean against the sink."What? Are you serious?" Seemingly copying Tyler's surprised attitude earlier." Yes , go!" I smirk and shooed her off, before I began cleaning down the counters with a wet rag.

-Time skip cause I'm lazy-

It was now 7:30 pm (19:30) as I tiredly walked over to the door and flipped the sign to close , Jenna and Tyler had been talking even while Jenna had gotten back to work , Tyler still actually hasn't left the shop." Alright , I'm going home ." Almost tripping over my feet , I walked into the back to grab my stuff."Wait ! I don't think you should should drive home."Jenna followed behind me , making sure I didn't fall on my face."Why's that?" I ask , yawning, grabbing my things.

"You don't look to good." She paused and placed her hand on my forehead. " Your burning up!" She squeaked , trying to pull me out of the back to get me to sit down."I'm fine Jenn-" She interrupted me."Give me your keys." She demanded."Jenna No-"I tried again but I was interrupted once again."Just give her the keys." Tyler commented from behind her , I looked over her shoulder and glared at him.

"Ugh! FINE" I groaned and handed her the keys , as Jenna shut off the lights in the cafe I stood near the door , where Tyler stood next to me and waited patiently."I don't see why I can't drive myself home-" I groaned not being able to finish the words coming out of my mouth for the hundredth time that day.

"How much sleep did you get last night Y/n?" She pushed me out the door , Tyler in tow."Um.." I carried off , not giving her an answer."Exactly, Now What did you eat for breakfast?" She asked as she locked the door to the cafe."Um, I had leftovers?" I carried off , She turned and looked at me , clearly upset.

"Oh my gosh ! Fine you got me." I groaned, crossing my arms over my chest, how ever, that didn't help the empty feeling in my stomach. My legs straining to move."Y/n you need to take care of yourself!"Jenna argued with me."Yes mom." I stuck my tongue out at her and Tyler. Tyler didn't like that much , but took side with Jenna."Y/n stop" He added.

"Yes Dad" I rolled my eyes , that didn't seem like a good Idea , as I took my first step away from the cafe I went tumbling into a brick wall, I stared up at the crying sky. My eyes aren't rolling , the world is just spinning , Then it all faded to black , the emptiness in my chest all seemed to fade and I couldn't feel anything. Emotionless.

 

-

 

I woke up back in my bed , luckily it was still night out, but I still heard chatting down stairs , probably Jenna and Tyler, Well that or I really needed to rest. Walking down the hall once I get to the stairs I look out over the railing to see Jenna showing Tyler all my photography . I had a stack of photos that I kept on my coffee table in the living room , no apparent reason why they were there , I just don't keep them in photo albums , I'd waist all my money buying photo albums.

"Wow she took these?" I heard Tyler ask Jenna in.. awe?"Yep! She's amazing isn't she?" Jenna gleamed, talking me up like I was some sort of professional.. well after graduating College , I hope I'm considered a professional.." Yeah! She's amazing.." He agreed, I mentally deadpan ,Jumping into their conversation"I mean . I wouldn't want to brag but yeah , I'm pretty awesome."I laughed from the top of the stairs , making my way down the stairs.

" Jeez Y/n!"Tyler shouted as I had clearly scared them with how I jumped into their conversation."You gave us heart attack!" Jenna followed his lead."That's a thing now ? You guys finishing each other's sentences?" I smirk and sit down on the floor , looking over the coffee table full of my photos.

"Wha-" Ty started but I interrupted him"Never mind that why are you looking at my photos?"I ask , biting my lip as I began to get self conscious over the fact that Jenna had been talking me up the way she always had. "I figured your photographing hobby could use some publicity." Jenna smiled and wiggled her eyebrows."Oh really, and how is Tyler going to help my publicity?"I ask, quirking a brow at how she was so relaxed.

"Oh Right! Tyler is in a band called twenty one pilots. " She looked looked over at Tyler than back at me."So?" I question , standing up to start collecting the photos back into piles."We just lost our photographer, and I would love if you would be our new photographer." He grinned from ear to ear."Wha-" I began ,He cut in quickly , continuing what he'd began to say.

"But that would mean you would have to travel on tour with us , and Jenna is all for it to , So you would have a companion , to help you with everything . " He swallowed nervously , I stare at him a second before looking back to Jenna , who nodded in agreement. Maybe I should , It's better for my career and I could always come back and get my job back at the cafe if It doesn't work , And Harley could probably stay with my parents , I continued to stare off into space , deep in thought before looking over at Tyler .

"Alright fine , I'll do it." Jenna and Tyler seem to jump in excitement , Jenna tackling me in a hug. "Jenna!" I squeak.

This was going to be one hell of a ride.


	2. Blood?

Chapter.2|| Blood?

Word Count : 785

Madness , complete madness . I huffed as I walk into the the back door of venue , Showing my badge left and right , camera in hand , strip hanging around my neck as I nervously walked around backstage , trying to figure where I was supposed to be . Suddenly someone rushed passed me , blonde hair wiping behind them .  
" J-Jenna?" I asked turning to get a better look at the person , turning around I came face to face with Jenna ." Oh thank God , I've been looking for you everywhere ." I stuttered. My anxiety still pulling me into the darkness , but Jenna didn't know about my anxiety , no one did , except me . I know it might be odd but I'd like to keep it that way, the last person I saw wouldn't let me do anything , fearing I would have a panic attack , I don't want anyone to see it as a disability , sure it's a social disability but I don't want it to stop me from anything ."Oh! I'm sorry ! Tyler had me go get him some more red bull since he can't leave his dressing room till Sound check . " She smiled . " Follow me! I'll introduce you too everyone!" 

Today was the first day of the tour , starting in our home town ( IS IN THE DARK) , Columbus Ohio. This was going to be the last time I saw my hometown for a few months , I better make it last. But the anxiety filled me. With a consistent reminder that I was going to away from home for a long time with strangers who could careless than me , Of course other than Jenna and Tyler . But the thing is I had no idea what I was getting myself into , I didn't know who any of the other band members were or who I was supposed to take pictures of .

" So are you excited? " A voice interrupted my thoughts , My eyes jumped over to Jenna . " I guess you could call it excitement .." I shrugged , more terrified than excited..." Oh! You've met the band right?" She asked another question , typing away at her phone." Uh , no , I've only met Tyler ." I explained rubbing my eye with tiredness.   
" I see! This is going to be great." She exclaimed and grabbed my hand before tugging me down the hall .

" Jenna ! Slow Down ! I ca-" I fell on the ground , My elbows skidding on the carpet , the carpet tearing through my skin like scissors would with paper . Hissing in pain I leaned up on my knees ." Y/n! Oh I'm so sorry !" she winced as blood began gushing down my arms , " It's fine , Let's just keep going.." My elbows ripped to shreds I could barley notice the blood running , my elbows were kind of numb , but it still hurt like all hell , It was just really bad rug burn , but It's something I couldn't handle , not with how much I haven't been taking care of myself , not eating , not sleeping.

" No we have to go bandage you up , Come on !" Jenna helped me up before taking me into the ' Twenty One Pilots ' Dressing room. I raised an eye brow at the name , What did that mean anyway? "Tyler! " Jenna exclaimed helping me into the dressing room . "Get the paper towels and the first aid !"  
" What? What happen? Tyler asked , I kept my head down , looking down at my elbows and my knees , seeing the blood beginning to gush. I saw six pairs of feet , Jenna ,Tyler , Who else was in the room ? "Y/n I need you too keep still okay." Jenna commented , as I trembled .

"Ow .. Please hurry.." I huff , keeping my head down . My hair falling to the front of my face as I felt Jenna go from either side of my body ,pouring peroxide on my elbows and knees. Whatever side she wasn't on , the anonymous vans were on the other , holding paper towels to my arms . Tyler was helping Jenna , but that was beside the point I wanted to see who this mystery person was , and to tell him he had nice vans." I need to sit up ." I groaned as my back began to feel sore from slouching . 

" Alright sit up carefully , I need to go wash the blood off my hands , Tyler will help me , You stay here and help her ." Jenna nodded , I could hear her let out a soft sigh. I slowly sat up looking down at my arms , hearing the door click shut I rubbed my eyes , Looking up at the person that sat next to me , The first thing that came into view was red , I've seen that before , in my dreams.. The mess of read seemed to move as I was met with rich brown eyes. 

I jumped up from my spot on the couch? Anyway - I stared right into the round brown eyes that I'd never met before.  
" W-who are you." I stuttered my question ." Whoa , Easy , It's okay , Calm down ." He stood his hands placed directly in front of his chest , nothing in hand . He stood shyly , his form tired."Who are you?" I asked again .

 

"I'm Josh , Josh Dun , Drummer of Twenty One Pilots."


	3. Trust me.

Chapter.3 || Trust Me.

Word count: 1070

"I'm Josh , Josh Dun , Drummer of twenty one pilots "  
He seemed in a daze about the same time I was in my own... This is the guy that had been invading my dreams , since I was 15 . I needed answers . Staring over at this Josh guy like he wasn't human."You're Y/n right?"he asked quietly . I stiffened and looked over at him, giving a small nod" Who told you?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest , still not trusting this guy.

"Tyler and Jenna. Jenna never stops talking about you " He chuckled , giving off a small smile I shyly looked down."Hey . It's alright you can trust me." He reassured , taking a step toward me, but in return, I took one back."I'm trying ." I carried off. " It's just a little bit harder than it seems" I commented , I was at a loss, I couldn't just ask him about my dreams , he probably had no idea .

"Alright well , come sit with me ." He replied and sat back on the couch , I hesitantly follow sitting a little farther than suggested , sitting I crossed my arms and legs."So you're our new photographer?" He asked and glanced over at me."Surprisingly, yes. The day Tyler met Jenna and I , I nearly fainted - okay so I did faint, anyway . Jenna showed Tyler some of my work and he liked it I guess." I shrugged and played with my fingers

" They showed me some , I'd say I'm impressed ." He smiled a over at me. " Well you should be." I added sarcastically, though I could see the serious face on , raising both eyebrows thinking I was serious , I tried to stay serious myself but that went up flames as laughter busted from my lungs."I'm kidding , but thank you." I placed a hand over my smile , something I've done since I was little .

His wide smile and chuckle turned into a frown as stared at the hang covering my smile."Why are you hiding your smile?" He asked calmly. "Huh? O-oh it's nothing ." I awkwardly uncover my mouth as Jenna and Tyler peek through the door."Hey Josh ! Sound check is in an hour." Tyler smiled seeing both of us communicate, Jenna shut the door behind them and walked up behind Tyler, linking her fingers with his .

"How are you holding up Y/n ? I don't think you should take pictures tonight ."She stared at me , her blue eyes full of concern."Oh no! I'm taking pictures. It's the first night . Rug burn isn't going to stop anything. " I gave off a small smile, shifting in my seat , my arms stinging ." Are you sure ? " Jenna seemed to grab both my hands carefully , her hands seemed to radiate heat like furnace compared to my hands, my fingers were thin , pale as the tips showed off a dark pink , along with the tips of my ears , the cold feeling never seemed to go away.

"Yes Jenna , I'm sure. " I slid to the front of the couch , standing myself up , I looked back at Josh , offering him a small smile . I walked over to a small table in the middle of the room where my camera sat , the lens slightly dirty . I picked it up , looking for any damage from my fall, luckily nothing serious , I could still take photos , I'll just have to switch out my camera for the next concert , get the lens fixed up and sent back to me .

" All good. " I smile , bringing my camera to my face after cleaning the lens , I snapped a few pictures of Josh. He chuckled as soon as I pointed it at him , his white teeth lined up perfectly . After a few pictures , he had moved his emotion to a pouty face , his big brown eyes seeming like puppy dog eyes , whilst his top lip tucked behind his bottom lip ,his bottom lip sticking out father.

I let out a soft laugh before pointing the camera at Tyler. He kept giving me a straight face, his facial expression not moving . I sigh before walking over to Jenna whispering a few things in her ears . She busted out laughing for a second before nodding , she stood behind me as I aimed my camera back at Tyler .  
He stared over at Jenna who was behind me , trying to keep a straight face , I had no idea what she was doing but I heard Josh laughing too , snapping quick pictures of both of them laughing . I smile , standing up straight I look down at the pictures I had taken."I want to see ! " Josh exclaimed ,jumping from his seat , he ran over to me and peeked over my shoulders." They're not bad, they'll be better once I crop them and put a filter on them." I shrugged , but he shook his head ." I think you should leave them , it adds character." He smiled.

" I'll think about it Dun." I smirk before , turning quickly and snapping a picture of him . It was blurry but his red hair smeared across the picture like in a painting ." It's blurry " I whine , Josh once again comes over to look at it ." Dude , Tyler come look at this picture she took ! It's sick!" Josh jumped and took my camera heading over to him , Tyler meeting him halfway." Dude that is sick!" He chuckled ."Do you think you could do that again? Only have me put my beanie , while I aim my fingers at Josh?" Tyler asked making a finger gun with his hand." Yeah no problem! " I smiled. "It will be a little less blurry , but when I go through all my pictures tonight ,I'll make sure I edit it for you." I chirp , standing on my tippy toes I aim my camera at them.

"Thank you!" Josh and Tyler thank me at the same time before they got in the pose Tyler wanted . I looked at them through my camera , I hummed lightly as my eyebrows creased as I snapped a few pictures before I put my camera down , scanning over the pictures. I studied Josh's expression . His face was all scrunched up like he was waiting for an actual bullet to come . I jumped from my focus when I felt a hand on my shoulder , looking over at josh as I turned a light shade of red.

" Are you okay?" he asked quietly. " Oh yeah I'm fine." I lied , I was oddly enough confused about Josh . There is something about him that he rarely talks about. I doubt I would ever known what it is , I'm just the photographer.


	4. Bug Bite.

_Chapter.4|| **Bug Bite**_

_Word count: 1,243_

 -

I panted as I looked around the small stadium , trying to catch my breath from running around the stage so much. I huffed , leaning up as  I watch , people slowly began to  flood out of the stadium , some crying from such an experience ,  other smiling and laughing ,talking about what had happen at the concert. I couldn't help but raise my camera and take a few photo's of some of them  , wanting to remember their smiling  , or tear covered face , that was something that was irreplaceable.

I trailed back stage , looking over some of the photo's I'd taken , biting on my lip as I walked , luckily the the cable that held my camera to my body while I wasn't using it , pulled my camera to my side as I accidentally  ran straight into someones bare chest .  I groan as their chin hits the back of my head.  I laughed lightly and looked up , bracing myself for someone to yell at me , how ever , Josh looked down at me with a warm smile , chuckling as he  stared down at me , I blush lightly , biting on my lip ." Oh fuck! I'm sorry Josh. " I explained  taking hold of his chin , raising it slightly as I looked over his bare chest .

My eyes scanned closely  ,  my cold finger tips from the night air tracing over his chest , looking for a red mark . " Are you- " I froze I looked back up to Josh's face only to see his face completely red.  I quirk a brow , not completely understanding why he'd transformed from josh dun to a literal strawberry. How ever feeling his breath fan over my face , I seemed to realize .. I squeak lightly before immediately pulling back. " Sorry! I though there was, um - a - bug bite on your chest?" My face was now matching his.  Josh looked down , rubbing over his chest . " Yeah probably , there's a bunch of mosquitoes ." he chuckled. " Jenna and Tyler are already back at the bus. "I paused before nodding my head .

" Right , We should probably - go then ." I nodded to Josh , He smiled and nodded back following after me , strolling up beside me . I gently rubbed the back of my head where his chin head hit. I looked over to him and he seemed to be doing the same with his chin . " You have chin made of Iron ." I smirked over at him , he glanced back at me in confusion before laughing . " No wait , steel , cause you chin his connected  to your jaw line ." Josh still seemed confused as to wear I was going with this .

I laughed and shrugged " Cause that jawline could cut a bitch." I smirked over at him before he began laughing . " Wow Y/n where'd you come up with that? " He asked , crossing his arms over his chest as the cold air hit him ,wandering out to the tour bus . " I hear'd one of your guy's fan's say it before the show stared." I laughed as I pulled open the door of the tour bus ,  he took hold of it as he followed me into the tour bus. " Yeah you have a pretty hard head." He commented back . I quirked a brow and stood at the top of the stairs , waiting for him.

" You know hard headed is another word for stupid Josh , you just called me stupid." He smirked at him. He jumped and shook his head. " Don't twist my  words. " He laughed , I did as well , smirking as I entered the lounge area ,   I saw Jenna and Tyler kissing . " Gross." ( Who am I kidding they're so cute) Josh stuck out his tongue , his brows creasing together . " Go smooch in bed you weirdo's " I groan .  Jenna sat up looking to Tyler . " Look at that she's already giving us permission to sleep together and  have sex." Jenna smirked. I instantly jumped back into the conversation.

" Um excuse me , you will not be having sex on  the bus , poor josh and I will be scarred for life!" I laugh . " I could care less if you two sleep next to each other ,  that just means be have a place to put all the shit were gonna gather while traveling around the world. " I hummed with a nod , taking my camera harness off , setting my camera down  on table as I took out my laptop also . " Isn't it a little late to be doing that ?" Tyler asked as Jenna stood to head to the bunks , he stayed on the couch , watching the  tv that hung on the wall of the tour bus. 

" No course not , I just want to look through them . "I nodded . " Probably delete some one the  bad ones and  the doubles." I nodded , watching as  Josh wandered into the back to get showered and changed .  I went through my photo's quietly even after the tour bus began driving, it was now  12 am , I still sat at the table looking through the photo's on my my laptop , writing down the numbers of some on my  favorite photo's I'd taken .  How ever I stopped along a picture of Josh , I cam to a complete stop . I bit on my bottom lip as I looked over , scanning over each  little  detail of the picture . 

I nervously  popped my fingers as I looked back to my note pad , writing down the number of the image before looking back to it , my eyes scanning over his facial features as he stayed focused on the crowd ,his lips parted  slightly as he was exhaling in the picture , his arms placed in mid air as   he was about to hit on his drums with all of his aching muscles , his bright red hair peaking from under his hat and body pealed of his shirt , every muscle of his body moving as he hit the drums , his legs tapping to keep the rhythm . 

" That's a cool picture." Jenna hummed , sitting next to me , causing me to jump out of my skin . " Jenna! What the -  ugh!" I groan , push my hair from my face. " What'd I do ? " She asked taking a mouth fill of ice cream , her blond short locks tired up into a tight high bun .  " Nothing , you just scared me ."  I laughed  How ever Jenna took a second look at the photo . 

" Hey Tyler! Josh! Y/n got this really cool picture of josh come look!" She exclaimed as Josh an Tyler wandered into the room . Josh wondered up behind me and rested his elbows on the back of  the seat , Tyler smile leaning over me. " That's a really good picture .  Y/n " He smiled brightly , how ever , I didn't hear Josh say anything , so I guessed he hated it . " Thanks Ty . " I nodded.  " How ever I think I have a few bett-" Josh interrupted as he leaned over , his body leaning against mine slightly , pointing at his face in the picture. " I look like an ape." He laughed and shook his head. " but it's a really good , clear photo , Nice job Y/n." I smiled at his words  , feeling as I did good.  ( Image above.)

I shut my laptop , letting out a yawn , I had already cleared my memory card as  I put it into my  camera as it charged ,  setting it down before I walked to get changed for bed . This was going to be fun. I thought as I was slowly dazed off to sleep . My dreams were completely black , before Josh appeared , we stood , just staring . " Stay low. " 


	5. Travel

Chapter.5||Travel

Word count: 1264

For having insomnia for most of my life , I've never been able to fall asleep as fast as I did last night , the rocking of the bus sent me off to sleep , I wasn't used to it , How warmth the tour bus was crazy , Not just the temperature , but how belonging it felt to be there , Jenna , Josh and Tyler made me feel appropriated , with out my photos , they call me talented and make me feel as if I do have a place in the world. 

It was a five hour and forty minute drive to Chicago Illusions from Columbus Ohio , We haven't even gotten on the road yet , we had been at a truck stop , quietly sitting there , I just sat their , awake in bed , my fingers pushing through my hair , raking it out of my face . I look out of my bunk , I had a top bunk because Jenna called dibs on bottom bunk , and Tyler followed so it would be easier to crawl into bed together . 

I huff as I look over at Josh's bunk , the curtain was shut but there was a small light illuminating from below , he was probably on twitter . I huff as I lay back in bed , listening to Jenna and Tyler giggle and talk . " You guys are so annoying , It's nine in the morning , to early to deal with this. I groan and turn my back to the rest of the bunks . 

" Cry about it "Jenna laughed out as I smirked and tossed a pillow down at their bunk ." I will . Then I can go home." I smirked and wiggled my eye brows , Jenna gasped and peered out of the bunk , Josh opened his curtains as well and Tyler just ooed. " You just went there." Jenna laughed as she jumped out of her bunk . and crawled into mine , tickling me instantly. I laughed loudly and a tried to escape her , jumping out of my bunk , landing the super hero landing per usual before darting into the bathroom , hearing everyone chuckling , I looked myself in the mirror , biting on my lip as I looked myself in the mirror ,my mascara had still been clumped on my lashes and what was left of my concealer . I hummed lightly as I washed my face quickly , remembering I left my bag of cosmetics in the bathroom . I pulled it out from the rack it been moved to , smiling as I began applying a light amount of make up , not to much , just enough to make me feel alright about myself , knowing it was going to be hot in Chicago , I didn't want to cake anything on.

I stepped out of the bathroom , quietly looking around with a smirk . I snuck into living room , seeing them all standing there I wiggled my eyebrows. " The queen has arrived." I smirk as I stepped out of the bunks . Josh was sitting at the table eating Reese's puffs wandered over and looked at his bowl of cereal . " I want some " I shift in my spot , not noticing as Jenna and Tyler sneak up behind me , pushing me over ,causing me to land into josh's lap . " You guy's are big bullies!" I groan , not noticing I was even in this lap . How ever a second later, I felt his arms around my waist and a chin on my shoulders . Jenna instantly took out her phone to take a picture . My face turns red and I instantly block out my face , only after I put my hand down , she instantly took another , " Ugh !" I groan . " You guys are big bullies ." Josh laughed before releasing my waist , causing me to stand up .

"Sorry for sitting on you Josh ." He only smiled and shook his head. " No worries. ,You're really light." He smiled and continued eating , I smile , glaring back at Jenna and Tyler as they now sat on the couch , chatting over the picture with a bright smile. I roll my eyes as I sat down across from Josh after fixing myself a bowl of cereal , looking down over twitter as I looked through many of the tweets I'd gotten , tweeting a photo I'd taken last night , tagging the twenty one pilots page , along with Josh and Tyler . The bus began moving once again , how ever the next moment I looked down at my phone , Josh had already liked , re tweeted and began following me back on twitter ." That a really good picture ." He smiled. 

I smile back warmly , the butterflies in my chest getting stronger , wanting to flutter right out my throat , " Thanks" I smile as I quickly force them back down into my stomach , I continued to eat. After I finished , I decided to pull out my laptop once again , editing the pictures , cropping them and adding filters to some of them , this would only take an hour or two , not noticing at Josh wandered up , sitting beside me . " We're gonna stop at the next gas station , fill the tank and take off again , wanna raid the store with me ? " He smiled over at me . " Course." I chuckle as I stand , grabbing my wallet and my phone , stuffing them in my pocket before wandering back to the table , grabbing my laptop and sitting on the couch , looking over photo after photo before I began uploading them to twitter , more and more people following me as Tyler had crowned me twenty one pilots new photographer . 

I groan as my phone kept going off like crazy , wandering on instantly turned my notifications off , rubbing my eyes , shutting my laptop as the pulled up to the gas station. I jump out of the bus , stretching my legs as the sun graced my skin . I groan as I wandered into the gas station ,pushing open the door as Josh followed quickly beside me . " I'll get the red bull." He nodded to me , I giggle as I follow behind him ." I want some too . " I say , a smirk on my lips as I pick out a flavor or two of my own wandering to the chips , I pick out a few kinds , biting on my lip as I looked over them all . Picking out a few , by time I looked over to josh , he'd run out of room to hold everything , Red bulls in his hand and corners of his arms , and a pack of chips tucked beneath his arm and under his chin .

I laughed as I looked over at him , pulling out my phone I instantly took a picture of him before motioning him to the cash register , paying for everything all together before he could even think about pulling out his own money. "Wait you are paying for all of stuff too?" he asked confused . I smirk up at him . " Yep ." I smiled as I took my spare cash , stuffing it into my wallet before grabbing my stuff and heading out of the store , back to the bus , Josh followed closely behind , trying not to drop any of his Items. After we we're both on the bus , the traveling picked up where it left off , looking over at sleeping Jenna on the couch , Tyler playing a game on his phone ,I wandered back to my own bunk , opening my red bull and a bag of chips , I popped ear buds into my ears as I watched The Walking Dead over Netflix. This was only the beginning of a hella long journey .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // working really hard to put chapters out everyday , and if you want , please leave a comment , it motivates me to work harder .


	6. Calloused Fingers

Chapter.6||Calloused Fingers

Word Count : 1529 

Minnesota , We were now Minnesota , I miss home , I miss it a lot . The only perks of traveling around the states first , I got to see the place I was raised , I don't remember a lot of it , I was there until I was 6 everything after that was a blur . Portland Oregon . Huge city but on the outskirts , trees for for miles , The weather , in the summers , could run up 100 degrees , winters covered in snow , but in the fall and spring , it rained , it rained a lot , with the smell of petrichor staining the ground.

I sat on the couch of the tour bus , staring at the tv , biting on my bottom lip as I munched on Cheetos , the boys and Jenna had been getting ready for an award show and for some fancy dinner , I wasn't going , I'm just the photographer . I sigh as another episode of the walking dead began playing , not noticing ad they all snuck back on to the bus " Hey Y/n , What are you doing , the make up artist are here with your dress. " Jenna smiled and tried pulling me off the couch. But was quick to pull back with a groan." No , you guys look great , you should go ." I smile and pause my show . " No Y/n you gotta go!" Tyler groaned as him and Josh sat on either side of me . 

I bit nervously on my lip , noticing Josh was wearing a tux , this is work y/n , stop. " I don't have a date ." I nodded in approval. Tyler smiled and looked to Josh , " Josh , now." He demanded . I was a bit confused as to what was happening . " Will you please by my date to the awards show ? " He asked , sucking on his bottom lip . I smile lightly , a light blush tracing my cheeks ." Alright fine , but just this time. " I sigh as I stood , pulling on my vans , staying in my black sweatpants and my fall out boy shirt . " Guide me to your leader . " I smirk as Jenna instantly grabbed my band and pulled me out of the bus and into a large building .

I huff as my head had begun to hurt , Jenna standing beside me as a hair artist was tugging at my hair , making waves that hung low .I look around the room , how ever my head was instantly turned back forward by the hair artist. Jeez , no need to be rude about it , A make up artist began beating my face at one point , applying red shadows all over my lids , Adding a red glitter then false lashes , mascara . After finishing up my make up The hair artist finished my hair as Jenna helped me into the changing room , stuffing a red dress into my arms. Everything I had been putting on was red , I must've been dressing to match Josh . I sigh as I slide into the dress and the heels I was given. 

I wandered out of the dressing room , my bangs braided out of my face , I put a large smile on my red lipstick covered lips , looking up to show Jenna my outfit , How ever , Jenna wasn't there . Josh was. " Oh hey Josh." I smiled as I wandered up to his side . " Where did Jenna and Tyler wander off to? " I asked How ever he just stared , I quirked a brow and patted his shoulder , it caused him to stir in his thoughts . " T-They went to make sure the limo went to the right address." He nodded. " You look really good ." He smiled , I blushed lightly and pulled him into a tight hug ." So do you ." I smirk before pulling him outside , finding Tyler and Jenna . 

" Hey , are we ready to go ?" I asked , staring at the limo . Jenna smiled and nodded , they got in first , wondering inside close behind , I look around quietly , sitting at the back of the vehicle ,Josh sitting next to me , biting at his lip . I smile and take hold of his hands, keeping him close. " You alright?" I asked quietly , I knew about his anxiety , pretty much every one did , but I knew this boy was fearless when it came down to the right moment. " You look tense. " I mumble to him , Jenna and Tyler tapping away at their phones , taking pictures of themselves like children . 

I role my eyes and look back to Josh , a smile on my pale complexion ." Yeah , I'm alright ." He nodded , smiling . I smiled back to him before I continued to play with his fingers ,not noticing I was doing so until he made a comment . " Do you like playing with my calloused fingers? " He asked , staring down at our hands . " I don't mind that their calloused. "I flashed him a smile , looking up to his deep brown eyes. This was wrong . So wrong , he was your boss , can you not be so into him , you've known him a month , stop . I looked down and away as the limo pulled to a stop , Josh stood from the limo , out holding his hand as I got out , I took it , but let go of it once I was out . " We shouldn't hold hands .. We'll give social media something to talk about.." I carries off and Jenna and Tyler got out behind us . 

 

Josh hesitated before nodding , holding his arm out so we could intertwine our arms I smiled to him , liking how even though he was dressed in a dark suit , red tie matching my dress , his red hair stood out like fire . ( Yes his hair is still red in this story because I loved his red hair xD) "I think you look the best here . " I smirk to him , how ever as soon as the words left my mouth , I regretted it . That was flirting you stupid head! You're flirting with your boss! I turn red and shake my head. " From a friend perspective that is" I add a second later . 

 

Josh quirked a brow at the last comment . " Oh we're friends ?" He asked, smirking . I slapped his arm. " Yes we are." I scoff while not being able to wipe the smile . " Gosh , you're a butt." I grunt as he leads me to the red carpet. " Uhm , where are we going ? " I asked , not sure where he was taking me . " To the award show?" He asked. " Okay, why don't we take a different entrance ? " I ask. " Sorry Y/n this is unfortunately the only way in unless you're security . "Tyler nodded , walking onto the red carpet with Jenna , I look down and sigh ." I'm not cut out for the red carpet , I'm supposed to behind the camera . all of this isn't that great." I hum. playing with my fingers.

 

Josh seemed confused as he grabbed my chin . " The make up ?" He asked , I just chuckled and shook my head. " No Josh , my face." I nodded , not a trace of sarcasm found in my voice. " I like your face , so hush , and tonight you're my date , so come with me. You're the prettiest girl I've seen ." He smiled as he pulled me out on to the carpet , his arm around my waist while mine settled on his lower back , showing the friendliness of our friendship ,not holding hands or hanging all over him. The night continued , Josh's words carrying out through my mind the whole night. 

However after the night ended , we returned to the tour bus , taking my dress off before changing into favorite pair of sweatpants . I grumble as I peeled the false lashes from my eyes , soon after , taking a make up wipe , I began removing my makes up . my eyes slightly swollen from rubbing ,even tinted red thanks to the red eyeshadow . My face now being bare , I pulled on my my favorite Pink Floyd t-shirt . I strolled out of the tour bus bathroom , marching to the couch , I sat , I waited for everyone to get settled for bed . Josh came and sat next to me , taking a glance at me before looking back , his eyes staying , I looked to meet his gaze . 

" What? " I asked quietly . " You look tired , and like you've cried a bunch. You still look adorable though. " He smiled . " I rolled my eyes , not minding his comment, taking it more of just a buddy compliment . " Sure." I play with my fingers. " Hey , Thanks for tagging along tonight, I'm glad you came along." He smiled , I smiled back to him slightly , nodding . " Not a problem . " I nodded to him , adjusting my hair that was tied into a high bun on the top of my head. " Goodnight Y/n." I look up to him , he gave off a tired yawn before standing and strolling to his bunk. I huff as I stood also , crawling up into my own bunk , I closed the curtains and stared out my window , we we're on the road , the driver would drive until we hit the text rest stop , I stared out at all of the moving cars , sighing lightly when we finally came to a stop . I slowly fell into another slumber , my dreams being graced with the same drummer as always.


	7. For me.

Chapter.7||For me.

Word Count :1,494

It's been five days since the award show , I don't know what to think , more people checking out my twitter , liking my photos , and constantly getting messages from people I knew in high school , asking me what I was doing , why I was taking photo's for a famous band why I was at an award show with a famous guy ? -Cough- Sorry , a famous hot guy , As much as Josh was a nice guy , his looks had him beat . 

I sighed as I heard my phone go off again and again , the sound overwhelming me as I took hold of it , shutting it completely off . The boys wandered out of the tour bus to get Taco Bell , Jenna with them as well , really I didn't even want to get out of bed that day , my anxiety being high as it was from all the attention on social media , I'd gone from a couple thousand followers from my home town , easily to 12 thousand in a day , I knew going to the award show with josh was bad , He was a complete sweet heart and his gorgeous face and amazing ton- wait where am I going with this ?

The point is he's that great , and he just made my days better , he makes every day better , making girl and guys across the world smile and stay alive , it was a blessing to even be graced with being Tyler Josephs and Joshua Dun's photographers . I got out of my bunk , wandering over to the table in the lounge area , I pulled out my laptop , as fun as editing photo's was , I wanted to do else . 

Opening up the google chrome browser , I opened up YouTube , grabbing my sound canceling head phones , placing them over my ears , I plugged them into my laptop , slowly clicked on the search bar . ' twenty one pilots ' I searched it quick , not hearing anything around me thanks to the headphones , I wore them quite a lot , in concert more than others , it's not that I didn't like the type of music they made , I hadn't actually heard any of the music they played , only a little during sound check . After listening to many of their songs , starting at Blurryface , then making my way to Vessel next. As the songs played , I listened intently on the lyrics , also looking at the many photo's the internet had to offer of the boys. 

How ever when it came down to the last song on Vessel , I just stared off into space , the words sticking in my head each time he sang . Truce. it was like a scene you'd see of a drama filled show , the depression flooding in as I began sobbing slightly , leaning over the table as the music continued . ' Stay alive , stay alive , for me. ' The words ran through my head , my hands trembling as I wiped the tears from my face . How ever , as the song ended , someone came on the bus , It was Josh . Seeing him in the corner of my eye , I instantly slammed my laptop closed , taking off my headphones I ran to the back of the bus . 

" Y/n! Wait ! What's Wrong?!" He was close on my trail as I instantly darted to the bathroom , slamming the door I locked it . " Y/n ! Y/n ! Please talk to me , What's going on ?" He asked, his voice filled with worry . I looked around the small room , as if looking for a place to escape . I hated this, I hated being in this small room , locked up , hiding . This was merely a exact representation of what it was like for me growing up , sitting on the floor of a closet , curled up in a ball crying , my dad pounding on the door , after I broke something on accident , this was where I'd end up , Hiding away . 

No I didn't break anything this time , and Josh wasn't my father , Gosh , nothing like my father , Josh was so nice and so careful , he cared , he wasn't going to hurt me and I continued to hide from him like a hurt dog . I whimper slightly as I sit on the top of the toilet , wiping my tears away " Y/n .. Please I want to help you ." He carried off .

"N-No .. I want to be alone right now.." I say loud enough , knowing he'd hear. Silence . (Ironic I was listening to Car Radio when I typed that ) I heard a shuffling from outside the door . looking over to it , my brows creased together . What was he doing ? " Alright , I'll wait here until you want to talk about it . Then we can go get something to eat." He hummed ,hearing him shuffle a bit more . 

It was silent once again , nothing could be heard except the sight noises of us shuffling around . I played with my fingers as I wandered over to the mirror , pushing my hair from my face , pushing it up into a messy bun as I instantly leaned over the sink , washing my face off , not liking the tackiness that the tears had left on my face . I dried my face off , looking at myself in the mirror . I hated my face . pulling out my make up , I simply filled in my eyebrows and applied mascara , not wanting to put anything else on , I felt broken. I sighed as I put my make up away again , sitting over by the door , my back against the counter . " Hey J-Josh ?" I ask , my voice shaky , still hiccuping from the small panic attack . 

" Yeah ?" He asked softly , his voice was soft and gentle through the door . " I like what you and Tyler do. You help people a lot , you make people think there is a better reason to live then just existing . Before I met Jenna , Tyler , you . I was just existing . I was working a small coffee shop , getting paid minimum wage , Only enough to keep me going on my way until I got paid again . With out you guys I probably would've lost my mind by now , now knowing which day was which ." I chuckle slightly and shake my head, standing up , I pulled open the door . Josh fell back on the floor , taking away the object he was resting on . " Oh Josh I'm so sorry!" I curse as I leaned down over him , holding the back of his head ." Did you smack your head?" I asked.

How ever Josh just stared at me , his lips hung open slightly . I traced my fingers up to his face , my fingers rubbing against his scruff . " Are you alright?" I asked, my eyes staring down at his features , no longer panicking as my eyes met his deep brown ones . " Yeah , I'm alright." He nodded . I nodded back to him . " We sh-ah - probably get going before Tyler and Jenna come back here looking for us." He continued on . I smiled at him and nodded, covering my smile with my hand as I stood up . Josh frowned at the movement , standing up . He looked up to her face. She smirked at him before turning and walking out of the room . 

" Hey .. um .. Please don't tell Jenna and Tyler about this.." I carried off , Pulling an over sized sweater over my head, over my t-shirt. " If you don't want me to I won't." He nodded and ran his hand through his hair . " Thank you ." I smiled up to warmly . He watched as instantly shot my hand to cover my smile ." Don't stare at me." I laughed as I shook my head . 

" I tried to get a hold of you ." He pointed at my phone , seeing me utterly confused. Realization hit me. " Oh ! gosh , I'm so sorry , I had to turn it off , It kept going off like crazy .. everyone is freaking out over the photo's I posted and the- um award show." I nodded . Josh nodded . "No worries , I'll show you how to take care of that. " He smiled , biting his bottom lip . Stop that . You little shit , how can you be so cute. I snap out of my thoughts " Thanks Josh! " I smile before turning , heading to the exit .

 

" Hey Y/n?" He asked , causing me to turn around . " Yeah Josh ?" I asked my eyes landing on his chest as I didn't realize how close he was standing . " Know you can talk to me ." He stared at me. I nodded and looked up to his large brown eyes. " The same goes for you ." I mumble , into his shoulder as he pulled me into a tight hug ,turning red as I felt his warm arms wrap around my body , his face buried in my shoulder . I look over his shoulder, smiling as my attention was caught by his red locks , wrapping my arms back around his shoulders. " Thank you ." I whisper.

'Stay alive, stay alive , for me.'


	8. "Good morning you Sea Monkey"

Chapter.8||"Good Morning you Sea Monkey"

Word count: 1234 

"Y/n wake up ! Come on we gotta go and get some breakfast!" Josh shouted from the front of the bus , I groaned turning my back to the the curtain , pulling the pillow over my head as I didn't want anything to do with the outside world , or waking up in general. How ever the one thing that kept me going. Josh.

Yeah ,yeah ,yeah . Call me cheesy , I don't care . But the only thing that kept me motivated anymore ,was josh , he made me happy , he made millions of people happy , him and Tyler both . I had no idea how they did it . I felt to warm arms wrap around me , dragging me out of my bunk , bridal style as I was carried to the couch , being laid down in the couch , my hair a complete mess , I glared over at Josh as he just simply smiled. " Good morning you Sea Monkey." Tyler spoke up , I glare back at him before walking up to him , taking his bowl of cereal and sitting back on the couch , curling back up into a ball , I began eating what used to be Tyler's cereal , but was now mine.

I watched Catfish on tv quietly , eating quietly. " What that's no fair , you can't just take my cereal and eat it ." Tyler now getting offended by my choices. " Yeah! You can steal my cereal and eat it instead!" Josh chimed in , wandering over to sit beside me . I only role my eyes at josh's words , leaning over I took a scoop of Josh's cereal . (Reese's what else lmao) I smirk as I ate the cereal ." I'm the cereal Queen , Fight me . " I smirk as I looked back up to the tv. 

" This show is messed up ." Josh commented . " I can't Imagine leading someone on like that , Lying to them about your looks and your name . " He hummed , I looked over at him and shrugged . " Some people use it as kind of like therapy . a lot of the people who are doing the catfishing , have been bullied and gone through stuff. So they wanted to be someone else to escape reality . " I explained , Josh , Tyler , and even Jenna , looked over at me , confused as what I meant . " May have done such a thing , back when I was 13 , I put it to rest after a week ." I laughed and shook my head , they laughed along but soon after Josh turned to me . " What did you go through . To do such a thing? " He asked , biting on his bottom lips . " I shrug and look down . " Abuse , neglect . " I commented quickly. " It only lasted until I was 10 , My father is an asshole." I shrugged and played with my fingers. 

Looking back up to Jenna and Tyler , they soon stood up and ventured back to their bunk , after quickly hugging me . "We love you Y/n " Jenna smiled sweetly before Helping Tyler make another bowl of cereal on the moving bus . But Josh continued . " Is he gone for good ? " He asked . " He's not coming back? " He asked . I set my empty bowl aside before looking back to him ."No , he's in jail , for good , he's not getting out of there . " I gave him a sad smile , setting his bowl aside also , He pulled me into a tight hug . " Like Jenna said." He pulled back , staring me straight in the eyes. " We love you." He smiled brightly , How ever , coming from his mouth , it turned me red almost instantly , pulling him into a tight hug , hiding my face in his shoulder. Mostly to hide my blush , soon after , I pulled back and patted him on the shoulder , glancing back to see Jenna and Tyler staring .

Standing up I took my bowl , disposing of it before venturing to the back of the bus to get ready. " Okayyyy I'm getting ready ." I groan , tired of the fact that I had to get up at one point that day . 

\---

I crouch down between the small gap of the stage and between the crown , my camera aimed up at the boys , snapping pictures frequently trying to get as many good shots of them as possible . I took a deep breath as I felt many of the fans trying to get my attention ,But I didn't pay attention , I just stayed focused of the boys , on the music . My cold fingers pressing down on the button as my camera let out a small digital sound letting me know pictures were being taken . walking up on to the stage . I watched as they began to play Forest . Snapping pictures of Josh , noticing he looked over at me as I began taking pictures , I smiled slightly and he smiled back , biting on my bottom lip I got the pictures of the sweaty boy . 

Moving to my next position , I was crouched behind Tyler's piano , taking more pictures of Josh , switching to my other camera , I didn't have the light to switch the lens's so I bought another camera , one for far pictures ,and one for close . Both being attached to my harness that wrapped my torso . I know was back stage , taking pictures of Tyler singing and playing the piano , staring out over the crowd as the chorus of the song began playing .

As the boards began getting set up I instantly walked up in the middle of the stage , wanting to get the best pictures possible , especially through the fog machines and confetti . Snapping pictures of the boys as they stood there looking out to the crowd , snapping pictures of them as they began pounding on the drums , pointing their mallets back out to the crowd , confetti now flying I snapped all the pictures that I could . Even of the crying screaming fans . I smiled seeing their faces , After the song ended , the boys looked over the crowd , smiling like children . How ever the second they got back on stage , I was enveloped in a hug by the two boys , as the fans screamed . I laughed , hugging them back before I quickly retrieved from the hug , wanting them to finish up the concert. 

 

After the concert I sat quietly , playing with my fingers , Jenna and I waiting in the Tour bus for the boys to finish up in the dressing room. I yawned as I rubbed my eyes , I stood up ." Hey Y/n" Jenna hummed. " You and Josh are sure getting close aren't you ? " She asked , as she looked up from her phone , locking it and setting it in her lap . I bit on my lip . " Well I'm close with all of you for work , but outside of that , you guy's are my best friends , with you and Tyler dating , Josh and I grew pretty close is all , we have a lot in common . " I nodded. Jenna smiled slightly and nodded back . " Oh okay. " She looked back down to her phone , confused by what she meant . " Wha-" I was interrupted . " Dude that show was so sick!" Tyler came on to the bus , talking about what he thought of the show . " I can't see the photo's Y/n took ." Tyler continued. " Me either." Josh smiled , his gaze meeting mine , I bite on my lip and nod to him , only getting a nod back .

After crawling into bed , yawning I sat quietly. Hearing everyone mutter goodnight , the day came to a close. " Night guys." I mumble.


	9. Swimming

Chapter.9 || Swimming

Word count : 1244

There has always been something so enchanting about water. The way the ripples moved if a leaf touched it, or if the wind blew hard enough. It always seemed to catch my attention, whether it was the ocean or the small kiddy pool I sat in at the age of four.

There's miles of land in front of us  
And we're dying with every step we take  
We're dying with every breath we make  
And I'll fall in line

However, that was the day I fell in love with the water, but suffocated by the love, I nearly drowned in that kiddy pool, my love for water had its fears, I can’t swim, I normally just sit back and watch the pools of water from afar.

A stranger's back is all I see  
He's only a few feet in front of me  
And I'll look left and right sometimes  
But I'll fall in line

I haven’t gone swimming since the day of nearly drowning, missing out on plenty of fun from special occasions, hanging out with the few friends that I had in Highschool. Refusing to get to close to the water, nothing more than my ankles in the water.

No one looks up anymore  
'Cause you might get a raindrop in your eye  
And Heaven forbid they see you cry  
As we fall in line

“Y/n Wake up, come on wake up, we’re going out.” I jumped from my slumber at the soft sound of a voice, the air in my lungs seemed to vanish as I began gasping for air like a fish out of water, sitting up in my bunk.

And about this time of every year  
The line will go to the ocean pier  
And walk right off into the sea  
And then we fall asleep

“Y/n?!” I heard the soft voice again as my hands shot up and held on to the roof of the tour bus, trying to get air into my lungs, as my throat was hoarse from in haling and exhaling sharply. (True fact, put your arms over your head when you can breathe, it opens up your lungs.) The roof not being far out of my reach as I was on the top bunk. However, feeling a warm hand on my back, I loved over, now face to face with boy with deep brown eyes. Nearly making me lose my breath all over again. “Are you okay Y/n?” The gorgeous eyes filled with concern.

And as we near the end of land  
And our ocean graves are just beyond the sand  
I ask myself the question  
Why I fall in line

I turn red realizing how close my face was to Josh’s, slowly leaning back, letting my hair fall in my face. “Oh, yeah, yeah sorry, I’m fine, choked on saliva.” I smirk and reach over, ruffling his bright red hair. Pushing my own hair from my face I sat up and got out of the bed, Josh right by my side the entire time, worried. I look back at him, quirking a brow. “Josh, stop worrying so much, as I said. I’m fine.” I smirked back at him before venturing to the lounge of the bus, where Jenna and Tyler sat, Tyler’s arm around Jenna. “So, where are we going out today?” I asked, seeing how the bus was stopped I began to make a myself a bowl of cereal.

Then out of the corner of my eye  
I see a spaceship in the sky  
And hear a voice inside my head:  
Follow me instead  
Follow me instead  
Follow me

“Jenna, Josh and I decided we’d go to the beach.” Tyler hummed, his hands playing with Jenna’s. However, I looked back at them, my face still as I bit on my bottom lip.” The beach?” I asked “Yeah, the beach, excited?” Joshua asked, clearly excited. “Yeah, I-uh love the beach, but I think I have to stay on the bus, I have photos to get edited. “I mumbled, pouring the milk into my bowl and sitting at the small table to eat. “That’s ridiculous Y/n, as your boss, the photos can wait until tomorrow, you’re coming to the beach with us.” Tyler laughed and smiled at me, standing up he strolled over and patted me on the shoulder. “Take your time with the pictures, I mean it. “He smiled before venturing to the back of the bus to get ready. Josh watching me closely.

Then the wages of war will start  
Inside my head with my counterpart  
And the emotionless marchers will chant the phrase:  
This line's the only way

“Are you okay?” He asked as if he knew something was off. Looking back at him, I hid the dark memory of myself nearly drowning. Behind my pupils. “Yeah, I’m fine, you don’t have to keep asking me that..” I mumbled, quickly finishing my bowl of cereal as I knew I must’ve freaked out a bit too much on him, he looked hurt at my response. After everyone was ready, we went to the beach, Josh , Tyler and Jenna all went to the water , whereas I just stood by the car that we had rented for the day, Slowly getting my stuff out and preparing to just sit in the sand and read my book .

And then I start down the sand  
My eyes are focused on the end of land  
But again the voice inside my head says,  
Follow me instead  
Follow me instead  
Follow me  
Follow me instead 

After I had settled in into a good spot on the beach, my toes tucked in the warm sand, I sat quietly with my nose in the book, not noticing as Josh, Tyler and Jenna ventured up to my spot. “Y/n Come on, go in the water with us.” Jenna smiled. I just bit my lip and shook my head. “I’m alright guys, the water looks cold.” I smiled sadly. They all seemed to frown, nodding. “Alright then you should take a photo with us.” Jenna spoke up again and took my hand, pulling me up from my spot. Nodding I took Jenna’s phone and angled it out, looking over at Josh and Tyler who had been whispering amongst themselves. Quirking my brow, I called out to them in which they quickly came back to reality.

Take me up, seal the door  
I don't want to march here anymore  
I realize that this line is dead  
So I'll follow You instead

However soon after I took the photo, Tyler took the phone from my hand and tossed it over on the towel I was sitting on, Josh bending over and picking me up, being bent over his shoulder perfectly, Tyler did the same to Jenna. Josh began running toward the ocean, not getting a change to react, we were swallowed by the waves, the water seemed to welcome me back into its deadly arms as we we’re off shore. Josh letting go of me and letting me float. Tyler and Jenna joking and playing, Josh watching. But me? I was gone. Sinking, looking up at the surface of the water from where I sunk. The ripples of the water we’re just as memorizing.

So, then You put me back in my place  
So I might start another day  
And once again I will be  
In a march to the sea.


	10. Ripples

Chapter.10||Ripples

Word count: 1137

"Y/n! Come on! Come on!" I heard trembling in the male’s voice. "I knew there was a reason she didn't want to go in the water" Another whimpered. 

Feeling a jolt of life go straight through me , sending me flying back to consciousness , The feeling of pressure on my lips , I opened my eyes to see the infamous red hair , the hair you could hair you could run your fingers through and feel complete with yourself , Although , I felt complete with myself just being around that boy. I always felt at home. 

The boy with red hair gave me CPR, but I felt the water coming up from my lungs as I patted his shoulder harshly, as he pulled back I sat up in a panic, turning my body over I laid face down, coughing up the water, I felt Josh's hand on my lower back, trying to soothe my trembling and shaking body.

However seconds after I was done coughing up the water that had gotten into my lungs, Josh grasped both of my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug, his arms holding me tightly. "You could've just told us you couldn't swim.” He mumbled into my shoulder. Causing my face to turn red, panting into my shoulder, his breath warming my neck. 

"It's not just the fact that I can't swim, I'm actually afraid of water.." I carried off, rubbing his back lightly. "Anything that goes past my waist, the ocean." I mumbled and shrug slightly, playing with the ends of Josh's hair. Soon enough Jenna and Tyler, leaned down and joined us in the small hug. "I hate you." Jenna mumbled, tearing up and holding me tightly. "I love you too." I mumbled to Jenna, smiling sadly. "I'm sorry you guys.." I whispered.

"Don't apologize. Just hug us." Jenna stated and pushed my hair from my face, allowing me to see. Both the boys kneeling down with me , hugging all of us together , I smiled , standing up and pulling out of the hug , allowing them to get up with me , Josh stood tall next to me making sure I didn't fall his hands holding my waist and right under my chin . "Are you sure you can do this?" He asked. I just nodded. "You don't have to worry about me." I mumbled to him. 

Josh shook his head. "I do." He mumbled as he looked to Jenna and Tyler. "I'll take her back to the car and we should get back to the bus." He mumbled. "No!" I shouted out, not wanting the fun to end. "Guys go enjoy the water!" I carried off. "No we should head back, it's going to start raining soon." Tyler agreed, looking up seeing as large clouds have gathered in the sky. The dark grays capturing my attention, causing me to lean up and cling to Josh. "Alright.. Let's go." I mumbled, my fingers tugging at the dark hairs at the base of his neck.

My body still trembled as I walked with Josh, he kept looking at me with worry filled eyes. "I'm fine Josh.." I carried off, now avoiding his gaze. "I know you are." He bent down and picked me up bridal style, holding me up against his chest. "But sometimes even the strongest people need a hand darling." He hummed and he continued on walking , helping me into the car we rented , placing me in the back seat , and sitting down in the seat next to me , he wrapped his arm around the back of the seat , behind my head , buckling up , Tyler got in the driver’s seat whereas Jenna sat in the passenger.

I sat quietly , looking out the window , my lungs hurting awfully bad from the water, angling my head down I looked down at my lap before letting my eyes fall shut, tired from by body battling the emotional and physical battles. I played with my fingers quietly ( Yes Kaileen , The fingers) The motion of the car causing me to shift into relaxation, My eyes falling shut as I slowly drifted off to sleep, leaning against Josh in comfort . Feeling him shift slightly, all I heard was the shuddering sound of and iPhone camera. 

-

However I only woke up at the cold air, and the sound of car doors opening, my body being lifted from the car. I peeked my eyes open to see Josh pulling me out of the car, peeking down at me he saw my eyes peeking open. “Sh. Just rest.” He hummed, as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, causing my face to flush. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, His body heat instantly warming the side of my body, I dozed back off, my body relaxed for what seemed like the first time in ages. I didn’t wake until we were back on the bus, already back on the road.

I looked around quietly, I was laying on the couch under a thick blanket. Feeling a hand on top of my leg, I looked down to see Josh sitting at the end of the couch, my legs wresting on top of his lap, where he clearly made sure I was warm and cared for. He was looking at his phone, not looking away for any reason.

I sat up finally, Josh instantly looking up to my form, I didn’t see him look, but I could feel his gaze. “Hey, you alright?” He asked, leaning up and scooting to the end of the couch and resting his hand on my lower back, peering into my face. I finally looked over at him, his deep brown eyes captivating me. I bit my lip gently, I instantly grabbed the opposite side of his face, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for saving my ass today” I mumbled, his face turning red after I kissed his cheek. “Oh jeez! I’m Sorry!” Instantly thinking about how gross I probably looked, that was so out of line Y/n! What the heck were you thinking?!

I stood up almost instantly and went back to my room and dug through my clothes, picking out pj’s, before darting into the bathroom to quickly shower and change. Once I was done, I strolled back to my bunk and climbed up into it, pulling my headphones out from under my pillow, I listened to my music quietly. Pulling out my laptop I began to edit photos quietly. I didn’t sleep that night, I’d been restless, my body only replaying what all that had happen that day. Then it occurred to me.

Did Josh do mouth to mouth on me?


	11. Dibs.

Chapter.11 || Dibs.

Word count: 1468

I sat quietly, my cold fingers holding a mug of hot chocolate, my body trembled as we would hit the occasional pot hole or bump on the highway. The bus was silent. Josh was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, while Tyler and Jenna sat across from me, cuddled up watching a movie on a tablet.

I look around quietly, my eyes landing on my sketch book in front of me, I liked to draw, paint. But there was no way I’d ever be able to capture art the same way I did with my photography. Most of the time I just drew pictures of the angles I’d like to get for pictures, or pictures I’d like to get in the future. But photography would always be my favorite thing; how I’m able to capture things right in front of me and memorize them forever. I mean you very well can do that with art, but we all have it our ways.

I stood up and walked over to sit next to Josh, on the way, putting my empty mug in the sink. Sitting on the couch, a large space between Josh and I, Not a normal space , ever since I remembered he’d done mouth to mouth on me, or I’d kissed his cheek, nothing has been the same, and I’m not able to gain my confidence back. Instead I just get nervous around him and avoid his gaze, look to my camera and act like I’m busy looking through photos or something.

But it’s been two weeks since it happened and I know we can both tell that we need to talk about it. But just why him, why my boss? Why Joshua Dun? Probably the most innocent person on this earth, the purest. He’s like baby Jesus. A punk baby Jesus?

On a different note, we are in Georgia, I’ve actually lived here for a month or two, with my ex, Landon. He ‘loved’ me so much that he thought he had to verbally harass me, every day for a year and a half just to get it burned into my head. But he didn’t love me, and he knew it, I was just an inconvenience to him, so when enough was enough, I crossed the line and demanded he stopped harassing me or I would end our relationship. He took it in the worse way possible and grabbed me by the throat. Luckily our neighbor, a lovely old lady, called the police.

He went dashing down the street and I haven’t seen him since. He wasn’t caught, and I didn’t even bother pressing charges, I just wanted it all to be over, I wanted the stress and the drama to be over, and after that, I went home, back to Oregon. Back to my shitty little town. But I was home.

-

I had been staring out the window, watching as we passed through the small cities of Georgia, on our way to Atlanta, I didn’t pay attention to what was going on the bus, I was focused on what was going on outside my window, my anxiety raising in my chest as I saw plenty of the places Landon and I had visited once before. But it was never fun, well for me at least, getting high or drunk wasn’t my thing, I was just the designated driver I guess.

“Y/n come on, we’re here.” I jumped as I felt the calloused fingers on my arm, gently rubbing me back to reality. “Woah, are you okay?” Josh asked quietly. Um, no Josh, you’re still hot as fuck. “Yeah, um, yeah- Just really tired.” I shrugged and stood up, walking to the back of the tour bus, grabbed my camera bag. “No, Y/n were at the hotel we’ll be staying at for the next 3 nights. Did you not read the schedule?” Jenna asked as she smiled over at me, grabbing a few things only to stuff them into a suit case. “We have a schedule for where we stay?” I asked creasing my brows together, grabbing a few pieces of clothing and stuffing then into my own bag, along with my makeup and chargers and such.

“Okay, is there any way possible we can get three?” Tyler was pretty upset as he was on the phone, running his fingers through his hair trying to figure some mess out obviously. “Alright, fine two is fine, we’ll check in at noon.” He grumbled again. “Bye.” He huffed, hanging up the phone only walk up to Jenna, hugging her. “So, looks like the hotel were booking at tonight is booked full, so we’re going to have to divide off into rooms...” He carried off. “Chris said he tried, but to no success would they let him get anymore rooms. “ He sighed as he looked between me and Jenna, then Josh as he entered the conversation, standing next to me. “Also, Y/n.” Tyler looked me square in the eye. “I call dibs on sharing a room with Jenna.” He smirked and wrapped his arms around Jenna tightly.

My mouth fell open slightly agape as I already processed that I’d be sharing a room with Josh. I rolled my eyes and Jenna winked at me, Tyler wiggling his eyebrows at me. I turned back around, continuing to pack my stuff into my bag. After we were all done getting our stuff ready for the next few days. We headed into the hotel.

As Tyler checked us in, I looked around the room quietly, feeling anxiety sitting on my shoulders like two small demons pulling at my emotions. I looked down to my fingers, playing with the ring I had on my middle finger of my left hand. “One bed, one bath.” He handed the keycard to Jenna. “One bed…one bath...” He carried off quietly, handing the other keycards to Josh and me, a card for the each of us. “Luckily our rooms are right next to each other?” Tyler stated, more as a question rather than a statement.

I rolled my eyes and walked away. My anxiety through the roof as I walked over to the full elevator, not allowing anyone from my group to join me, as the elevator already being full. I sat quietly in the elevator , looking out the glass window I let out a large sigh, this only made everything worse, being smooshed into an elevator, surrounded by strangers, but I just needed to get my mind clear, to try and ease my anxiety of the fact that I was sharing a room with Josh Dun. Once I got to the right floor, I walked down to the end of the long hall and pushed open the door to room 477. We we’re only on floor fourth floor out of 7. But the view was still gorgeous out the window, of all the buildings and the sun parting from the clouds.

I took my camera witch always seemed to be strapped to me, aiming it at the crystal clear window, I snapped many pictures, I played with the settings on my camera for a few minutes before I heard the door click open, jumping slightly, I had totally forgotten my surroundings, looking up to meet eyes with those gorgeous rich coffee brown eyes. I blushed and let my camera down to its original place around my neck.

“Hey,” He carried off as he set our stuff down, seeing as I completely forgotten it. “Hey.” I have him a small smile, looking away as if it was nothing even though it took me all my power. “Are you okay?” He asked quietly, walking up to me. Standing directly in front of me, I looked back to him. “Yeah? Oh, Oh, right, yeah I’m fine, I was just overwhelmed, and I wanted to get up here, to just, relax.. For a sec.” I nodded to him. “And I actually got some really nice pictures-“ I commented, turning to see it had started pouring outside, in the matter of a minute I had looked away. “- When it wasn’t raining?” I chuckled lightly, letting a smile come out of me as I turned back to Josh, only to be gathered into a tight hug by him.

I turned a bright shade of red, hugging him back lightly I played with the ends of his red hair at the base of his neck. Only to immediately pull back as I heard a knock on the door. Pulling back to stare into those eyes once again. I bit on my lip and let go of him, turning away as I heard another knock, taking my camera, I aimed it back out the window, today was going to be crazy.


	12. 115 emails.

Chapter.12|| 115 emails.

Word count: 1528

-

I sat quietly, watching as Tyler, Josh and Jenna talked about their last show, playing with my fingers I looked down at the table. We we’re sitting in Taco Bell, waiting for our order. I sat next to Josh, seeing as Tyler and Jenna always had to be ten feet from each other, which I didn’t mind. Despite the fact that I always made myself a third wheel.

Yes, Josh was there to be the fourth wheel, but it’s different when that person has been in your dreams since you were fifteen, that just makes it more difficult to wrap your head around the fact that this person was real. “Order 57!” The taco bell worker called over the counter. I stood fist. “I’ll get it.” I hummed before strolling over to the counter and getting the food that had been placed on two separate trays.

Today was still the first day we got here, but I still can’t get over the fact that Josh and I will be sleeping in the same room together. Sorry, also the same bed. I probably wouldn’t sleep, I’ll probably just wait until there’s another room opening or take the couch. Scratch that. There was no couch. I’m screwed.

I sighed out softly, taking the food, I turned back to the table, and however, someone walked in through the door, catching my gaze I instantly froze like I’d been dripped in dry ice. Landon Fiches. The ass hole who put me through hell and back. I quickly look away, running up to the table and setting down the food. “ A-A-Actually guys, I’m going to head back to the hotel, you guys relax a-and walk around town, I’ll s-see you tonight” I assured as I was quick to turn on my heel.

Not quick enough as Josh quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me to a sit in my chair. “What’s going on y/n” He asked gently, and carefully. Why couldn’t have Landon talked to me like that when I had so much anxiety? Why couldn’t every boy be like Josh? A beautiful soul, wouldn’t hurt anything, anyone just for the hell of it. “Y/n?” He asked again, his voice filling with more worry. Josh didn’t know about my anxiety, no one did, but he could see right through me. Why him of all people? My boss.

“It’s nothing Josh” I whispered, shaking my head to try and get off topic. However, Jenna looked back, catching glimpse of the tall man with blonde hair, so greasy it was slicked back without gel, his body was lean, he wasn’t even really fit, he was chubbier and hunched over. The stench of beer and smoke could be smelled from where we were sitting. Making many bed memories flood back into my mind. “Isn’t that-?” Jenna started, stopping soon after.

I had told Jenna about him at one of our many sleep overs where we would drink wine and talk until it was daylight out. “Y/n?” A dark voice. “Never thought I’d see the day you came running back to daddy.” Landon strolled over, my body shaking. I looked up at him, my eyes filled with fear, I trembled. He was the dog with the bark and the bite, he used both to his advantage.

“Sorry? Why are you touching her?” Josh spoke up from beside me as Landon had been playing with a piece of her hair. “Where ever you think you stand in her life, you’d be incorrect.” He added. “Shut up you red haired stop sign.” Landon started. Josh chuckled at his so called insult. “No, you listen. Take your greasy taco hands and your insults that make no sense, and unkindly shove them up your ass.” Josh huffed as Tyler easily backed Josh up. “I think it’s time you left us alone.”

I quietly watched as Landon took that as his sign to go. “Not like I needed you anyway.” He mumbled. Causing an anger to rise up in my throat as I gripped the table. “That’s not what you said in the 115 voicemails. 342 text messages, and 743 emails you sent me. “I glared at him. “ I’ve never been better without a shitty guy like you watching my every move.” I huff and sat back down. “But sure, you don’t need me anyway, I see life is treating you jussst fiiinneee.” I dragged on, seeing his stained clothes and filthy hair.

However after I cleared up my end of things, he stormed out. And I hadn’t felt.. More awful.. I stood up and grabbed my things, looking back at everyone at the table as my body was shaking uncontrollably. Tears began streaming down my face and I felt like I was going to have a stroke. “I-I-“I stopped myself and looked back to all of them. “I-I’m g-going to g-go” I stuttered before I took off like a bat out of hell down the street, my body moving quick. As I ran back to the hotel, ignoring any calls for my name, I just wanted to be alone, I couldn’t let my anxiety get ahold of me.

I didn’t even bother taking the elevator, running up four flights of stairs, I jogged down the hall to my room. However not feeling up every pocket I had on my body, I realized I had forgotten my bag. Which held everything I could possibly need. Keycard, phone, charger, portable charger, wallet, anxiety pills..

I sigh as I let my body just shake, I was alone, across the country from my home, I hadn’t been home in weeks, and I have nothing on me to help with my current situation. “Y/n?!” I heard my calling down the hall, however When I looked up to see Josh, my body instinctively relaxed , my shoulders setting back and tears flowing from my eyes. But as he wrapped me up in one of his famous tight hugs, I let out my sobs.

Sobs I’d been holding back since I left Georgia, since I left the hell hole I had with that monster. Or in literal case, a shitty apartment with my ex, abusive, boyfriend. I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders as he wrapped his around my center, rubbing my back gently. Why is he so capable of taking me out of my darkest places?

He rubbed my back gently until my sobs became hiccups. I pulled back from our hug, hiding my face from his view. “D-Do you have your Key card?” I asked, glancing up at him through my wet lashes. He grinned seeing as I was calm despite having the occasional hiccup from my irregular breathing. “Yeah, we can chill out here for a bit, Jenna and Tyler are going to come back here after they finish their food okay?” I nodded to him and looked down, staying quiet as I watched him pull out his key card, unlocking the door and letting us both into the room.

I steered away from him, trying to keep my distance from him after I had just held him in a hug for about 10 minutes. I quickly ran into the bathroom, taking my makeup with me as I tried to fix up my makeup. However, it wasn’t long after I took off my makeup to redo it I noticed that I forgot my brushes out in my bag. I huffed and I looked quietly around the bathroom, but to no avail, I opened the bath room door, pulling my hood over my head I tightened my hoodie as tight as I could to hide my bare face.

Josh seemed to notice this as I was acting strange, probably looking something like a Demogorgon, wandering through his room, hitting my shin on things I began walking weirdly. He watched me, his gaze no longer being focused on the phone in front of him. He stood and snuck over to me, grabbing both of my shoulders, causing me to jump.

“JOSH NO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!” I asked, getting all flustered, I began to talk loudly, my voice getting elevated and high. Josh smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you doing anyway?” He asked, peering at me, his hand reaching to undo the hoodie I had covering my face.

I tried avoiding his reach but he untied it quickly, pulling my hoodie down. He smiled. “Josh I don’t have any make up on!” I explained trying to pull away from his grasp. “Y/n.” He hummed, causing me to stop. He chuckled and pushed my hair from my face. “You’re beautiful with and without make up.” A deep blush came across my cheeks as I stood completely still. He leaned over quickly pressing his lips to my cheek.

“Just returning the favor..” He mumbled right into my ear causing my body to shudder, from his breath against my ear, locking my knees. However a knock at the door caused us both to peel away from each other. Grabbing my bag, I ran into the bath room and locked the door, leaning against the door, panting loudly.


	13. I found you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -eye brow wiggle.- read.

Chapter 13 || I found you.

Word count: 2,088

I did my makeup in 20 minutes, going slow as I possibly could possibly could, but with all the anxiety pumping through me I did it  as quick as I would any other day. I stood there, starring at the door knob in front of me. I let a soft sigh fall out of my lips before I finally pulled the door open, walking out of the bathroom and over to my luggage. Digging through it, I looked over at Josh, he had passed out on the bed, on top of the blankets.

I was so concentrated on keeping my attention to myself, I didn’t even notice he was sleeping. I took my stuff off my side of the bed. Setting it on the coffee table by the window. I crawled onto my side of the bed, looking over at him. I bit down on my bottom chapped lip. My eyes scanning over his soft features.

His face was always so kind, and lit up my day, making me realize the whole time I was in the dark, when I didn’t even know I was that far gone. I didn’t realize how close I got to his face, staring at his small freckles he had across his nose, barely noticeable, only ever if you were this close, his dark eyelashes and his light stubble on his jaw line and chin.

He shifted slightly, his head moving over toward me, giving me a much larger view of his whole face. But I only continued to stare. But as he moved, a piece of his red hair (rip josh’s hair.) had fallen from its usual mess and down into the view of his face, right over his right eye. Distinctively I reached up and pushed his hair out of his face.

‘What the hell. Why was his hair so soft, Why was he so warm. WHY IS HE SO PERFECT?’ The thoughts flooded my mind, but when those rich deep brown eyes opened, staring straight back into mine, I froze, intoxicated by the color of them, and just by Josh in general.

However it seemed I wasn’t the only one intoxicated, neither of us wanted to pull away from each other , Feeling his hand on my waist wiliest the other under my jaw, his warm fingers at the base of my neck. I leaned toward him, and he leaned toward me, and everything seemed to freeze, our eyes half lidded. But the second we heard the knock at room door, we yanked apart. I ran to the window, diving into a chair as I picked up my camera and made myself busy. Josh easily stood up and went to the door, opening it. “Y-yeah? W-what do you need?” He asked

“Uh, well Josh, We brought you guys food, like you asked us too?’ He made his statement into more of a question, seeing Josh all flustered up. Jenna strolled into the room. “Yay! The foods here!” I smile as I moved from the chair over to the small counter top, helping Jenna get the food out for me and Josh.

“Oh right..” Josh carried off and played with his fingers, walking beside Tyler like a clingy puppy. “Thank you guys so much. “ I smiled to Jenna, hugging her tightly to me, the adrenaline still pumping through my veins. My hands trembling as I pulled away, Jenna looked Down at me worriedly. “Are you okay?” She asked under her breath, worriedly, she took hold of my hands and pulled me into the small room next to the room Tyler and Josh were in.

“What was that? At taco bell..” She asked, rubbing my back seeing as my whole body began to tremble.” Landon..” I carried off, looking down. “The one I told you about. He, well yeah you could say he was abusive.” I shrugged, biting my lip I looked down. “A total ass wipe, he cheated, he drank, His dinner every night was a cigarette.” At this rate I had been sobbing. 

“I didn’t think he’d be there Jenna, I didn’t think he’d be here, let alone alive, I figured he’d be dead by the 3rd week I left.” I whispered, trembling awfully, luckily I hadn’t put on to much make up, knowing that it wouldn’t be the last time I cried that day. I leaned back on the couch where Jenna just pulled me into a strong hug.

“Y/n, I promise you won’t ever have to go through that again. “ She mumbled into my shoulder, rubbing my back to ease my anxiety which she didn’t even know about. “Thank you Jenna.” I mumbled, pulling her back into the tight hug. We sat there for a bit, just talking and rid of the tear stains left on our faces however unbeknown to us, Tyler had been listening closely behind the door which was now cracked open ever so slightly. His eyes wide as he had realized what he’d just over heard, He heard all of it.

Josh had gone out on a run, Tyler on the other didn’t do too much running. But after that, he ran to the table and scribbled on a piece of paper that both them had gone out for a run. Then, he was gone, out the door in a bolt to try and find Josh. He needed to know what he’d learned.

-

Jenna and I sat quietly, eating desert that we’d ordered to get our minds off the stress that had occurred hours ago.  The clock only now turning to 10pm as the boys walking in through the door. “Hey love.” Tyler hummed as he walked in, moving to Jenna a kiss, climbing onto Tyler’s back Jenna shaped her hands into a heart at me before she waved goodbye for the night. “Night, see you guys tomorrow.” I smiled lightly and waved at them before. The room falling silent with the click of the door closing.

I glanced over at Josh , taking a drink of the small glass of water I had, looking over at Josh only to see him strip off his shirt, instantly gasping although instead I only inhaled water causing a huge amount of coughing to come from me as I set the water down , my body hunched over as I coughed uncontrollably.

Josh however ran directly to my side, rubbing my back , taking both of my arms he pushed them above my head , pulling me to my feet, he looked at me worriedly, pushing hair that had fallen into my face out of the way. “You alright?” He asked. I nodded distinctively, staring back into those brown eyes.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, letting go of me and pulling away, moving away he walked to his side of the bed and crawled in, taking clothes from my bag, I moved to the bathroom and changed. Coming back into the room I turned off all the lights except the one on my bed side table.

It was quiet, the sound from other rooms, children yelling and drunks slurring.  I turned toward Josh, looking over at his toned back. “Josh..” I whispered, lifting my hand up to touch his shoulder with my cold fingers, He flinched. “Sorry- It’s nothing, g-go back to sleep.” I mumbled, turning slightly, staring up at the ceiling.

He turned over anyway l shifting closer to me slightly. “I wasn’t sleeping.” He hummed.” Just thinking.” He looked to me and took hold of my other shoulder, turning me so I was facing him as he faced me. I looked up to him. “Josh, thank you, so much for today.. That guy.. He’s..”- Josh interrupted me. “Your ex, Landon.” He carried off. “I heard.” He mumbled.

“W-what did you hear?” I asked leaning up, anxiety filling through my lungs like water filling an empty bottle. “Landon, about how he used, threaten, abuse you. Y/n-“ I shook my head and pulled back, shaking my head. “W-who t-told you. I- told Jenna- and-“Josh leaned up and sat in front me, his legs crisscrossed as he grabbed both of my arms. “Y/n, look Tyler over heard it and told me, but don’t get angry at him, alright? Jenna, Tyler and I are your closest friends, you don’t have to tell us everything but hiding things isn’t the greatest idea.” He sighed.

I bit on my lip. “Josh, He was the first person I could trust with my life and he ruined everything.”  I hiccupped, trying to keep my emotions on hold so I wouldn’t cry for the 3rd time that day. “Josh he smoked a cigar every night for dinner.” I whimpered my hands shaking as I trembled remember the pain and fear I felt.

“Josh he ruined me, he ruined every little part of me Josh, I didn’t let him bring his stupid deer into the kitchen, to butcher it.  So he decided to cut me open instead Josh. He physically and emotionally ruined me.” I let out a dry sob. And lifted my shirt, showing off the large scar that went from my hip bone all the way to right under my arm.

“He did this to me for fun Josh” I sobbed out finally, tears finally falling and I began to have a panic attack from the memories, not being able to breathe, I began hyperventilating. Josh took hold of both of my shoulders, prying my shirt up my body to see the scar, his calloused fingers trailing over it.

“Y/n look at me! Look at me.” He took hold of my face, his thumbs resting on my cheek. “You are the strongest and most independent person I know, do you understand that? Your past may not be sugar cubes and tea, but look what your past made you into. Y/n no more hiding. I found you. Accept it.” He demanded, his voice wasn’t stern but rather strong, but gentle. I looked down, shaking my head slightly, thinking automatically he was full of it.

“Y/n you are completely right. That guy was a complete ass, and if I could see him right now, I’d break his nose in a second’s time.” He mumbled, his voice was soft. “You didn’t deserve what you went through, But don’t dwell on it any more than you have, He can’t hurt you anymore. Not while I’m still breathing.” He hugged my tightly into his bare chest, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, my fingers tangling into the red curls at the base of his neck.

“Thank you Josh.” I whispered and laid back, Josh laid next to me, on the end of the bed, turning off the bed side lamp beside us. The only light in the room was the slight light from the window curtain not being closed all the way, the street lights pouring in despite us being on the fourth floor.

He sat quietly, leaning into Josh he rested his hand on my waist. “I’m always going to be here for you, if there is anything wrong, you need to come to, me, Jenna or Tyler. And I want you to get help...” He whispered to me, his fingers trailing over my scar. I nodded and let my eyes fall shut.

However seconds into our quietness I felt him sit up, pulling my shirt up to look at the scar. “Remember this always. You are beautiful, and nothing can change that, this scar is a part of you no matter what.“  He whispered. Leaning down, he kissed from the bottom of my scar, his chapped lips gentle against my skin, all the way to the top.

It left me breathless, my breathing rushed as I looked up at him as he finally stopped. He pulled me back into our laying position, pulling me into his chest once again, his arm wrapped tightly around me. That was all I wanted in that moment, just to be wrapped in his embrace and to just stay there.

“Thank you Josh, for everything.” I whispered , leaning up I kissed his cheek , pushing his hair back out of his face , I rested my head against his for a moment before leaning back quietly , my head on his chest. The room quiet once again as I slowly dozed off with the feeling of him tracing shapes into my scar.

This is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m not afraid to live, not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's a bit dramatic, I was watching the hunger games while I wrote it


	14. Songbird.

**Chapter.14** || **_Songbird._**  
Word count: 1,242

There wasn’t anything better than sleeping in, let alone, sleeping in-in someone’s arms. Sorry let me rephrase that, sleeping in-in Josh Dun’s arm. That was the literal best feeling. His face hidden in the corner of my neck and his Scruff tickling at my shoulder and neck, His warm breath warming up my skin that was cool to the touch thanks to the morning air.

He had me wrapped up in a tight embrace and was holding me as if he would lose me at any second. I pried my eyes open finally, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, my fingers tangling in his red curls. “Hey, Josh, come on, and wake up.” I hum, only half awake, but awake enough to know we had to get to an interview in a couple of hours.

“Mm.” He hummed in response, shifting slightly he moved his chin up into the corner of my neck only to kiss it gently, causing me to turn to the shade of his hair. “The interview isn’t for another few hours.” He commented, kissing right under my chin. “Josh-“I gasped as he bit down softly on my skin. Causing me to sit up and move away slightly. “No-“Josh’s brows creased. “After last night I think neck biting is nothing.” He commented.

“Last night? Nothing happened last night Josh, the only thing that happened was you comforted me when I needed you.” His eyes were full of confusion as he glanced around the room, down to me. He moved the blanket slightly, seeing as we were both fully clothed, he ran his hand through his hair. “Shoot.” He commented. Removing himself from the blankets he moved away only to grab a few pieces of clothing. “I’m going to go shower he carried off.” Not meeting my gaze.

However I jumped up, moving over to him, grabbing his arm that was full of ink. “Josh, I’m sorry, It’s just it’s a little bit too fast for me-“I tried to explained. “No- It’s my fault alright. There’s not anything going on between us, I just have a hard time telling what’s real from my dreams.” He mumbled, removing his arm from my grasp.

That hurt. Nothing going on between us? How could he say that after what had happened yesterday? We nearly kissed, let alone we cuddled the whole night. “Josh.. What do you mean? Dreams?” I asked , It made sense to me , but it’s crazy , I’ve been dreaming of this boy since I was 15 and if he was dreaming of me, I needed to know.

“Yeah, I get really realistic dreams okay?” He paused, clearly getting frustrated, he looked over at me and bit down on his lip. “And I had a dream, of me and you banging. Happy?” He asked, setting his clothes on the bathroom counter. “Josh, it’s not a big deal.” I carried off, biting on my lip as I was filled with anxiety. “No actually it is, I’ve had dreams every night for the past 9 years about you. Y/n but you are right, I took it too far by thinking something could actually happen between me and you.” He huffed, turning from me.

“How about you just shut up for one second and listen to me.” I argued back, tired of being treated like I knew nothing. “Josh I’ve had dreams just like you since I was 15. Stop acting like you’re the only one going through this, let alone, I’ve been going through it far longer than you have.” I argued, glaring at him.

However he just stared, not knowing how to react. However reality hit me like a bus. I shouldn’t have told him that, he didn’t need to know this early on.” I quickly turned on my heel, strolling over to my suit case I pulled out my clothes for the day. “Just go shower.” I carried off, looking down I kept my gaze off of him.

But as the door clicked shut, I quickly changed and grabbed my duffle bag and moved to the notepad that sat on the table. Next to the window. Writing out a quick note

.'Alright Josh, I’ve decided this isn’t my place. And I need to go. If you could let Tyler know I quit, I’d be grateful, I’ve left a handful of photographer’s numbers on the back of this so you guys can find someone else to replace me, it won’t be hard, other than the hugs and cuddles you won’t have from me, but you never know, maybe they’ll cuddle you even better than I did.  
I’ll miss you Josh, please just forget about me okay, I’m headed home in a few days. And you won’t see me after that. I wasn’t lying when I told you I was having dreams about you.  
Your red hair and brown eyes have haunted me from my 15th birthday. But I have to go, you deserve better than an insecure little girl like me. Goodbye Josh.’

I finished off the letter quickly as I could , holding back the tears I wouldn’t let myself get down over something I knew was bound to happen, I wasn’t meant for this world, I should’ve been gone ages ago.  
I quietly placed the key down on the note beside it, but as Josh got out of the shower I left everything behind me, including my luggage as I left out the door, the only things on me, my phone, charger and my wallet and a vans back pack that was packed with my small amount of makeup and a snack or two. I ran into the elevator.  
-  
I walked around quietly, already punishing myself for leaving me luggage as I was only wearing a long sleeve shirt that was suction cupped to my body. It was a thin shirt and didn’t keep any of my warmth. I shivered, and kept my head down, finally coming to a stop, sitting down on a curb.

I looked around, looking up toward the sky as snow began to fall lightly. This wasn’t a surprise to me as it was in the middle of the winter, Christmas coming up, everything was just crazy, and however this year I would spend it alone. I did plan on spending it with Josh, Jenna and Tyler, but I couldn’t be a nuisance to them. Not anymore.

I didn’t have enough money for a hotel room, let alone I didn’t even want to be around people, or in a hotel, I wanted to be home. I wanted to be out of Georgia. I stood up and went over to a small jewelry shop that had been closed, curling up into a ball in the corner of the window and the outside cement wall. Rubbing my arms I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the cold glass.

Looking down at the bracelet around my wrist. ‘Music saved my soul.’ My overall dress code I was wearing at the moment described my past and my future. My necklace and my bracelet. Showing I’d used to be suicidal, my necklace only being a small swallow in the center of the chain, making me think back to Goner.  
The ring on my right ring finger, the gem showing of the mystery for the future, or maybe what I’ll be in the future. Gone.  
Truly, Today, I was a Goner.


	15. Find me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //So I normally don’t do this but I’m actually going to switch to Josh’s point of view, Just so you guys can really see the emotion and feel it as we go along , but it’s not going to be in first person , rather just second person where your character is narrating over them kind of. Yeah, hopefully you get it cause I don’t. Lmao enjoy.

Chapter. 15 || Find me

Word count: 2,591

Josh hopped out of the shower, drying himself off, bringing his own towels everywhere with him thanks to not wanting to be charged for stained towels because of his colored hair. He quickly got dressed, black skinny jeans, black vans a maroon long sleeve with his favorite thrasher hoodie on top of it. He took a deep breath before calmly walking out of the bathroom, waiting for his eye sight to catch sight of me, however that didn’t happen as he caught sight of my luggage, then the note that sat on the table beside it. He slowly moved over to it, thinking I’d probably left to go get something to eat down in the lobby or even went to the vending machine down the hall.

 _We said goodbye_  
That's what you told me once  
So many times we've made our peace  
But this is love, I'll never give you up  
I know you'll always come home to me

However as he read the note his face ripped open in panic as he quickly grabbed his key card, phone, charger and wallet, busting out the front door of his room with the note in hand. He moved over to Tyler’s and Jenna’s door, pounding on it. “Tyler! Jenna! Open up!” As the door was pulled open in confusion by a tired Tyler, Jenna behind him, already ready and dressed for the day. “Josh? I thought we weren’t going to meet for another hour?” He asked, his bed head sticking up in every direction. “Y/n, s-she’s gone Ty.” Jenna’s face twisted in confusion as I showed them the note. 

 _Like a river, always running_  
I keep losing you  
Like a fire, always burning  
I'll be here for you.

Jenna turned on her heal, running over to her phone as she began dialing up the number to my cell phone. Josh was pulled into the room by Tyler, moving to sit on the edge of the bed as Tyler grabbed his clothes, quickly moving to the bathroom to get dressed quickly. Josh sat there, not being able to hold himself together, leaning over with his hand on his head, his elbows on his knees as everything set in. His anxiety set in, causing him immediately realize the girl of his dreams (ha literally) ran out the door on him because of his own shitty actions.  He didn’t believe her when she said she said she’d been having dreams of him since she was 15, he’d felt like a complete idiot. Tears began filling at his water line, his shoulders trembling as he tried to hold back his sobs.

 _If you're ready, heart is open_  
I'll be waiting, come and find me  
If you're searching for forever  
I'll be waiting, come and find me  
I see you, you're in the darkness  
Blinding light right where your heart is  
If you're ready, heart is open  
I'll be waiting, come and find me

Tyler popped out of the bathroom only to see Jenna still trying to reach me, Josh sobbing his eyes out. I strolled over to Josh rubbing his back gently. “Hey. Deep breaths, it’s alright, we’re going to find her and were going to bring her home.” He assured. “I promise.” He nodded. Josh began taking deep breaths, standing from his spot.  “We need to start looking for her, it would take her a while to reach and airport, and to me it sounds like she’s probably just stay here until she has the guts to get on a plane and head home back to Oregon.” Josh spoke. Stopping in his tracks for a moment. “But even if we do look around, we’re in Atlanta, this place is huge...” He carried off... Tyler patted his shoulder gently. “It’s nothing we can’t handle. We’ll cancel tonight’s show if we have to, we’re not leaving her out there alone.” Tyler spoke up.

 _Come and find me_  
Come and find me  
I see you, you're in the darkness  
Blinding light right where your heart is  
If you're ready, heart is open  
I'll be waiting, come and find me

Josh nodded to him and looked to Jenna.” Thank you both...” He carried off. “While we’re looking for her, maybe you’ll actually realize how much you… need her” Tyler added, dragging out the word ‘need’ as Jenna elbowed him. Josh’s brow quirked up before he shook his head and shrugged, moving to the door. “Come on let’s go.” Josh mumbled before opening the door and jogging down the hall, the other close behind.

 _We've lost our way_  
That's what you told me last  
But tears they come and go  
This is us, I'll never get enough  
It's taking losing you to know

However after about four hours of searching down streets and not being able to find even the slightest clue  of where I went , the decided to brake and sat down on the street side. Josh knew that if he contacted her on any social media she was bound just to ignore him. He sat there for a minute on the bench, not listening to the conversation that went on beside him between Jenna and Tyler.

“It sucks there’s no way we can track her down on her phone or something...” Tyler carried off.  “Josh don’t you have her snapchat. Can’t you use snap maps to find her?” Jenna asked.  Josh bit his bottom lip, looking down at his phone. “It only works if she was active on the app, and she’s already blowing off all of our messages anyway.” He shrugged. “Unless something actually got her on the app, other than us, I just don’t see a way we could track her down.” Josh carried off. However as a plan began to pop into his head, his eyes widening as he pulled out his phone to open snapchat.

 _If you're ready, heart is open_  
I'll be waiting, come find me  
If you're searching for forever  
I'll be waiting, come find me

I hadn’t noticed but I had fallen asleep and what woke me up the sudden slobber tongue licking over my face. Jumping back to reality I look at the dog that sat in front of me like it was waiting for something, I’m guessing it was stray because it was pulling at my back, had no collar and no owner standing by.  Standing I instantly pulled my backpack from it.

 _I see you here in the darkness_  
Blinding light right where your heart is  
If you're ready (if you're ready)  
Heart is open (heart is open)  
I'll be waiting, come find me

“Stop. I don’t have anything for you.” However I’m guessing it didn’t like the sound of that because the dog began growling at me. I shuttered as I instantly put my bag on my back before I took off running away from the dog, not wanting to get bit or even deal with the dog. I know it didn’t know any better, Hunger did weird things to us all. I just wish well to the animal. That he ends up somewhere better than he is now.

 _Come find me_  
Come find me  
I see you here in the darkness  
Blinding light right where your heart is  
If you're ready, heart is open  
I'll be waiting, come find me

It was still snowing lightly, it was sticking and I still didn’t have enough money or clothes for the situation. I’d bought a new camera lens for my camera as well as a new laptop so I could edit photo’s on the go better, so I bought a mac book, of course apple products being about as much as my left kidney, I barely had enough for it but I got it because I was going to be paid in the next week. And I had to find a way to get money to get me all the way back to Oregon on a budget of $110.

 _We lost our way , that's what you told me last_  
The tears they come and go  
This is us, I'll never get enough  
It's taken losing you to know

I huffed as I suddenly felt my phone begin going off, I’d been out in the cold for the past 7 hours. No food because I had to save my money. When it vibrated in my back pocket, every bone in my body vibrated with it, and I could feel myself getting weaker, I couldn’t feel past my upper thighs, and my finger tips and nose we’re a light shade of this purplish blueish color I couldn’t describe, my lips getting darker as the center but the dehydration kept the outer rim of them paler, skin peeling from them lightly. Being chapped.

 _If you're ready, heart is open_  
I'll be waiting, come find me  
If you're searching for forever  
I'll be waiting, come find me

I shook the tired feeling from behind my eyes , making my eyes want to roll back to sleep, I looked down at my phone to see several notifications from snapchat as many people began to add me. Creasing my brows together which seemed almost in possible with how cold my face was. I opened the app, making sure to stay away from Josh’s messages as I added a few of the people to try and see why so many had requested to add me.

 _I see you here in the darkness_  
Blinding light right where your heart is  
If you're ready (if you're ready)  
Heart is open (heart is open)  
I'll be waiting, come find me

Pulling up a conversation with a girl, well I’m assuming, Hannah Morales. “Hi, I was wondering who you are? Sorry, strange, a handful of people just added me and I’m not sure who any of you are?” I sent, saving the message to the chat. “Oh I’m Hannah. I just saw you on quick add and I figured I’d add you and become friends? I’m from Texas. How are you?” Her bitmoji stayed popped in the corner as she waited for a reply. “Hi Hannah, I’m alright, I’ve been under a stress lately, I just want to be at home.” I responded before locking my phone and stood in place for a second before I looked around me. Not noticing I was walking up to a bridge that had been built to cross over a large creek.

 _Come find me_  
Come find me  
Run  
Run to me and never leave now  
Run  
Run to me and never leave now

I walked up to the bridge as I was suddenly pushed inside by a random teenager ,before he bolted and ran off , my small body tumbling down the hill as my backpack and my phone fell from my body as I fell into the freezing water. Gasping for water I was now soaked, let alone having a panic attack , now trying to avoid letting current to take me down the stream any farther I dug my feet into the rocks below me , trying to get traction .  I was able to get out , moving  over to the land I stood , now hobbling over to my stuff , falling back on the ground in the snow , my body now feeling completely immobile as seem to let the feeling of utter dread washing over me.

 _I see you here in the darkness_  
Blinding light right where your heart is  
If you're ready, heart is open  
I'll be waiting, come find me  
Come find me

I just wanted to pass in this moment, I wanted all this struggling to end, I didn’t want to be alone anymore, I didn’t want Josh to have to go through this world alone. I wanted to be with him, despite him having millions of fans and more importantly Tyler and Jenna, I could be replaced in seconds, I wasn’t drop dead gorgeous or even that good of a friend , but I know that all three of them would be better off without me .

 _If you're ready (if you're ready)_  
Heart is open (heart is open)  
I'll be waiting, come find me

My body no longer trembled from the snow rather it just laid still, losing feeling to the rest of my body as I laid, only feeling the light breath barely flowing through me. ~~Goner.~~ I let my eyes fall shut as I felt the snowflakes fall over my face. I could practically feel my lips turning all purple.

_If you're ready, heart is open  
I'll be waiting, come find me_

“Y/n!” I heard it in the distance, but I didn’t move, I was gone, they couldn’t save me now. “Y/n please stop running! We need you!” I heard another voice call out. However as I heard feet hit the pavement of the bridge my hearing became less apparent to my body as almost everything was fading. “She’s down there! Shit! Call 911!” I heard barely before my hearing faded to the ringing, now only hearing muffled movement.

However as I felt the snow beside me shift, I peeked from under my heavy eyelids to see Josh there. His face full of tears as he pulled my freezing body to his. He pulled me back up the hill, along with my stuff in tow. He then took a pocket knife, cutting my soaked shirt from my body, he stripped off his own clothing from his body and began putting them on me, his maroon long sleeve and thrasher hoodie fit loosely around my small frozen body as I felt him pull my body closer to him, trying to rub the warmth back into me. And that was the last thing I remembered before I passed out listening to the muffled sound of sobs.

-

[-lmao here's your outfit while were in a time skip -](https://www.polyvore.com/hospitalized/set?id=233865912)

I slowly began waking up, feeling far warmer than I remember when I fell asleep. I shifted slightly as I opened my eyes ,seeing Josh rested beside me , wearing that long sleeve maroon shirt he’d put on my earlier in the day , I looked out the window , seeing as it was dark outside. His hand was in mine where as he rested his head on my thighs, his other harm on the other side of my legs, which I’m assuming he’d be gently rubbed at one point. I was in a hospital gown, I had tights on along with fluffy sucks, and my hair was redone, the hair on the top of my head pulled back to a pony tail where the lower half hung over my shoulders. I looked around my room to see Jenna and Tyler sleeping on the couch on the other side of the room.

I looked back down to Josh, biting my lip at how peaceful he looked, seeing as he had tear stains down his cheeks, I leaned over with my free hand that had been buried under the 15 blankets I had under me, gently tracing my thumb over his cheek, but at this his eyes opened up, where I met gaze with those beautiful brown eyes.


	16. Rest.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh , you know , stuff. good? Great.

_Chapter.16 **||** Rest._

_Word count: **1,426**_

“Y/n?” I heard faintly, his lips moving but his voice barely apparent, my brows creased together as I continued to stare at his face, this had to have been a dream, and Josh didn’t go out in the cold just to find me freezing in a lake. “Y/n.” He said again, his chapped lips now making voice. I blinked out of my current state before looking down at our hands then back to his face. “Josh?” I asked, my voice rough and dry as I began coughing, my throat feeling like sandpaper from how dry it was.

Josh leaned up, taking the cup of water that sat on the bedside table, ushering me to drink. I took a few sips before putting it back, looking up to his face once again only to find him staring intently back at me. I turned a light shade of pink and looked back over at Tyler and Jenna to see them still dead asleep. “Y/n did you mean it?” He asked, squeezing my hand, trying to get me to look back up at him. “Mean what?” I answered him back with a question, unsure of what he was talking about.

“Your dreams? You’ve been having dreams of me since you we’re 15?” He asked, I turned red and looked down “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I spoke up slightly, trying to avoid the subject. “Y/n it’s been on my mind the past 19 hours, I would really appreciate it if you told me...” He carried off. I let out a long exhale and looked back up to his gaze, automatically thinking to my appearance of my face as he continued to stare at me. Looking down I stared at my hands. “Okay fine, but stop staring, it’s rude.” I mumbled before I attempted to sit up, but the amount of blankets and sheets on top of me, it was pretty much impossible to move at all.

I looked up to Josh, my eyes meeting his, omg boy, I literally just told you not to stare at me and you are doing the EXaCt OpPoSItE. I huffed ran a hand through my messy hair. “I have been having dreams of you since I was 15, Things would change with your physical appearance sometimes , your hair would be black , other times blue , pink ,then red. You had a piercing below your bottom lip but above your chin, I remember the dreams of you getting your sleeve, along with the one behind your ear.” I paused and looked down, playing with my fingers.

“I’ve had ones of you in a music shops, heck I’ve had nightmares of you, where your blurry face takes over you, and you become completely emotionless and turn away from me, but when I turn you back you don’t have any facial features and I can only see the deep shade of red of where your eyes usually are.” I described them out. “I’ve drawn you, time and time again after I see you in my dreams, I have a box full of art of you back at home.” I explained, looking back up to him to see him nodding slightly, looking down to his own lap.

“I’ve seen you in mine for the past 9 years, from what I can see you’ve had me for far longer than I’ve had mine.  I’ve seen you with short hair , cut off just around your shoulders ,and it was wavy , it was lighter than it the hair you have now , nearly blonde , and I couldn’t ever see the color in your eyes , they we’re always gray , and now that I can see your eyes in person. I can understand why they were never in color, I don’t think they would’ve been ever as beautiful as they are in person.” He spoke up, looking back and forth from his lap to my face.

“I dated Debby Ryan for a while, but no matter what we did, I was never as happy as I was when I was sleeping.” He mumbled. “When I was thinking of the girl of my dreams, somehow you always make your way into my mind.” He smiled, running his fingers through his red waves that were on top of his head. “Maybe it’s because I was the literal girl of your dreams. “ I smiled, letting out a small giggle before I clasped my hand over my mouth to hide both my smile and my giggle.

Josh frowned at my movements, standing up he moved closer, moving my hand from my face. “No, no more hiding.” He mumbled, leaning forward, he pressed a light kiss to the corner of my mouth. Causing my body to fill with electricity, my face if not red before, it definitely was now. He defiantly kissed me, but I wouldn’t count that as our first kiss, or our little mouth to mouth session in the many times I’ve almost died.

He moved back slower then how he leaned in, keeping our faces close but far enough away weren’t going cross eyed trying to look at each other.  “You drive me insane.” I mumbled, He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “I could say the same thing since you had me running around Atlanta just to find you.” He smirked. “How did you even find me?” I asked. “I don’t know whether to be sad or thankful that you found me.” I smirked.

“You’d better be thankful.” He smiled, before sitting back in his chair, his gorgeous smile soon enough fading away. “I want you to stay Y/n.” He mumbled, taking my hand and meeting my confused gaze. “What are you talking about Josh?” I asked not completely understanding what he was getting at. “I don’t want you to stop being our photographer, and I certainly don’t want you to go home back to Oregon, not yet, I want you to stay with us on tour, you mean to much to Tyler and Jenna. And Oh lord you mean the absolute world to me.” He stated, making sure the word world was as emphasized as all possible.

“But Josh, You don’t get it I don’t deserve any of this , I’ve never done anything so appreciated in my life that it caused me to get my dream job or seeing the world while touring with one of the best bands I’ve ever heard. I don’t deserve anything you’ve given me, I don’t deserve to be able to even call you my friend Josh.” I added. He cut in, his face full of frustration. “ No you don’t get y/n, It doesn’t matter if you deserve it or not, it’s a dream and a blessing that came true for you , don’t question it , you need to accept it and move on with it , don’t let it pass you by , and certainly don’t turn your back on it.” He stood.

He ran a hand through his red locks and sat down on the end of my bed. “You are a part of this now, you can’t leave it behind. You are a part of me now, and I really don’t want you to leave me behind.” He mumbled. I took in a deep breath, looking down to my hands. “Alright.” I mumbled. “Alright?” He asked, his voice still small and scarce. “I’ll stay. But I demand cuddles and when I need them I get them.” I smirked, where as he gave off a small smile. “As of which, right now I demand them.” I giggled whereas he just rolled his eyes and crawled into the bed next to me, taking one out of the many blankets I had on top of me.

“Tomorrow morning everything will be back to normal, I promise.” He mumbled, leaning toward me if humanly possible with how close we were laying , his arm under my head as we faced each other , just taking in each other piece by piece, He pressed a small kiss to my head. “Get some rest. “ He mumbled as he watched me. “Alright, Goodnight.” I mumbled, letting my heavy, tired eyes fall shut. “Goodnight.” He added before we both slowly fell asleep.

Things were going to change from here on out, But I wasn’t going to be afraid anymore, I had a family to protect me, Tyler and Jenna, and Josh sure as hell wouldn’t let me go. _I didn’t want him too._


	17. Rest.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh , you know , stuff. good? Great.

_Chapter.16 **||** Rest._

_Word count: **1,426**_

“Y/n?” I heard faintly, his lips moving but his voice barely apparent, my brows creased together as I continued to stare at his face, this had to have been a dream, and Josh didn’t go out in the cold just to find me freezing in a lake. “Y/n.” He said again, his chapped lips now making voice. I blinked out of my current state before looking down at our hands then back to his face. “Josh?” I asked, my voice rough and dry as I began coughing, my throat feeling like sandpaper from how dry it was.

Josh leaned up, taking the cup of water that sat on the bedside table, ushering me to drink. I took a few sips before putting it back, looking up to his face once again only to find him staring intently back at me. I turned a light shade of pink and looked back over at Tyler and Jenna to see them still dead asleep. “Y/n did you mean it?” He asked, squeezing my hand, trying to get me to look back up at him. “Mean what?” I answered him back with a question, unsure of what he was talking about.

“Your dreams? You’ve been having dreams of me since you we’re 15?” He asked, I turned red and looked down “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I spoke up slightly, trying to avoid the subject. “Y/n it’s been on my mind the past 19 hours, I would really appreciate it if you told me...” He carried off. I let out a long exhale and looked back up to his gaze, automatically thinking to my appearance of my face as he continued to stare at me. Looking down I stared at my hands. “Okay fine, but stop staring, it’s rude.” I mumbled before I attempted to sit up, but the amount of blankets and sheets on top of me, it was pretty much impossible to move at all.

I looked up to Josh, my eyes meeting his, omg boy, I literally just told you not to stare at me and you are doing the EXaCt OpPoSItE. I huffed ran a hand through my messy hair. “I have been having dreams of you since I was 15, Things would change with your physical appearance sometimes , your hair would be black , other times blue , pink ,then red. You had a piercing below your bottom lip but above your chin, I remember the dreams of you getting your sleeve, along with the one behind your ear.” I paused and looked down, playing with my fingers.

“I’ve had ones of you in a music shops, heck I’ve had nightmares of you, where your blurry face takes over you, and you become completely emotionless and turn away from me, but when I turn you back you don’t have any facial features and I can only see the deep shade of red of where your eyes usually are.” I described them out. “I’ve drawn you, time and time again after I see you in my dreams, I have a box full of art of you back at home.” I explained, looking back up to him to see him nodding slightly, looking down to his own lap.

“I’ve seen you in mine for the past 9 years, from what I can see you’ve had me for far longer than I’ve had mine.  I’ve seen you with short hair , cut off just around your shoulders ,and it was wavy , it was lighter than it the hair you have now , nearly blonde , and I couldn’t ever see the color in your eyes , they we’re always gray , and now that I can see your eyes in person. I can understand why they were never in color, I don’t think they would’ve been ever as beautiful as they are in person.” He spoke up, looking back and forth from his lap to my face.

“I dated Debby Ryan for a while, but no matter what we did, I was never as happy as I was when I was sleeping.” He mumbled. “When I was thinking of the girl of my dreams, somehow you always make your way into my mind.” He smiled, running his fingers through his red waves that were on top of his head. “Maybe it’s because I was the literal girl of your dreams. “ I smiled, letting out a small giggle before I clasped my hand over my mouth to hide both my smile and my giggle.

Josh frowned at my movements, standing up he moved closer, moving my hand from my face. “No, no more hiding.” He mumbled, leaning forward, he pressed a light kiss to the corner of my mouth. Causing my body to fill with electricity, my face if not red before, it definitely was now. He defiantly kissed me, but I wouldn’t count that as our first kiss, or our little mouth to mouth session in the many times I’ve almost died.

He moved back slower then how he leaned in, keeping our faces close but far enough away weren’t going cross eyed trying to look at each other.  “You drive me insane.” I mumbled, He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “I could say the same thing since you had me running around Atlanta just to find you.” He smirked. “How did you even find me?” I asked. “I don’t know whether to be sad or thankful that you found me.” I smirked.

“You’d better be thankful.” He smiled, before sitting back in his chair, his gorgeous smile soon enough fading away. “I want you to stay Y/n.” He mumbled, taking my hand and meeting my confused gaze. “What are you talking about Josh?” I asked not completely understanding what he was getting at. “I don’t want you to stop being our photographer, and I certainly don’t want you to go home back to Oregon, not yet, I want you to stay with us on tour, you mean to much to Tyler and Jenna. And Oh lord you mean the absolute world to me.” He stated, making sure the word world was as emphasized as all possible.

“But Josh, You don’t get it I don’t deserve any of this , I’ve never done anything so appreciated in my life that it caused me to get my dream job or seeing the world while touring with one of the best bands I’ve ever heard. I don’t deserve anything you’ve given me, I don’t deserve to be able to even call you my friend Josh.” I added. He cut in, his face full of frustration. “ No you don’t get y/n, It doesn’t matter if you deserve it or not, it’s a dream and a blessing that came true for you , don’t question it , you need to accept it and move on with it , don’t let it pass you by , and certainly don’t turn your back on it.” He stood.

He ran a hand through his red locks and sat down on the end of my bed. “You are a part of this now, you can’t leave it behind. You are a part of me now, and I really don’t want you to leave me behind.” He mumbled. I took in a deep breath, looking down to my hands. “Alright.” I mumbled. “Alright?” He asked, his voice still small and scarce. “I’ll stay. But I demand cuddles and when I need them I get them.” I smirked, where as he gave off a small smile. “As of which, right now I demand them.” I giggled whereas he just rolled his eyes and crawled into the bed next to me, taking one out of the many blankets I had on top of me.

“Tomorrow morning everything will be back to normal, I promise.” He mumbled, leaning toward me if humanly possible with how close we were laying , his arm under my head as we faced each other , just taking in each other piece by piece, He pressed a small kiss to my head. “Get some rest. “ He mumbled as he watched me. “Alright, Goodnight.” I mumbled, letting my heavy, tired eyes fall shut. “Goodnight.” He added before we both slowly fell asleep.

Things were going to change from here on out, But I wasn’t going to be afraid anymore, I had a family to protect me, Tyler and Jenna, and Josh sure as hell wouldn’t let me go. _I didn’t want him too._


End file.
